Abstract shapes

Living in this beautiful and culture enriched country, boasting majestic wonders in nature, wildlife and vast bio-diversity, we have much to appreciate and enjoy.  In every area, nook and cranny of South Africa, one is presented (or confronted – depending on how you perceive things) with diversity.  Boasting a sum of eleven official languages, I can comprehend and almost appreciate a misconception or misunderstanding amongst different circles and cultures.  Very often, due to our lack of understanding and even more often, our lack of trying to understand, actions, deeds and words are misconceived, sometimes even resulting in unsavoury responses and outcomes.  The sad part is that more often than not, the intentions behind the actions, deeds or words are pure, innocent, and helpful even.  Instead of putting in some effort to see what the actual intension/message is, we take the ‘lazy-man’s’ route and either brush it off as irrelevant or immediately get our guard up and prepare for a confrontation of sorts, ready to defend our own perception.  As if this doesn’t hit close enough to home as it is, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but the same is true in relationships.  “I see your lips moving but am not understanding a word you are saying” sound familiar at all?  He sends you flowers when what you really want is time.  She gives you a hug when what you really want is a home-cooked meal and you reach the conclusion that your relationship is just not working.  The problem has (more than likely) nothing to do with your love for each other or the relationship at hand but rather the colour or shape language you speak.    I see it like this, we are all unique and differ in many ways (thankfully so! Imagine how utterly boring and painfully mundane the world would be if we were all the same!)  We have many similarities, yes, but ultimately we all differ in some way.  Few may see the world the way I do or grasp my reasoning, understanding and/or method of self-expression as I do and that’s alright by me ( I know the world can only handle so much  techni-coloured, multi-personality, me-ness’s).  So then it would only make sense (well to me anyway) that I could be talking circles and you could be talking squares, thereby causing an astronomically huge breakdown in our communication skills.  This however needed be as problematic as what its seems, should we only but apply a level of dedication to TRY (at least) understanding the intention/ meaning  or message behind the odd shaped words that don’t necessarily align with our shape of words.  Henry David Thoreau portrayed a similar message perfectly accurately by saying, “Treat your friends (partner) for what you know them to be.  Regard no surfaces, consider not what they did, but what they intended”

Communication is a vital part of any relationship be it friendship, partnership, marriage, or business relations and if we would just conjure up a small amount of compassion, caring, understanding and love for one another, then we could combat the great dilemma of miss-communication and broken relationships.

   So if you starting to feel that he is from mars after all, maybe learn to listen with Martian ears.  If she is talking circles, perhaps invest in a ‘self-help “circle” dictionary.’  In other words, try adding a touch of patience and understanding opposed to deaf ears and see the true meaning and intention behind the abstract words being spoken.   Remember what Henry David Thoreau said, and I (repeatedly) quote, “Treat your friends (partner) for what you know them to be.  Regard no surfaces, consider not what they did, but what they intended”

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B