Delicious Monster

The fairer sex in our family are known for our comical  moments and rainbow coloured personalities.  We speak a love language that few understand, let alone converse in, I have therefore established that we are a rare and profoundly unique breed who are worthy of tolerance.     

   Our ‘in-your-face’ exuberance is normally only demonstrated in a select few instances, one being extreme euphoria (according to our own, self-determined level of happiness, sometimes bordering on hysteria), severe stressful circumstances and extreme heartache and/or FEAR.  (More on fear next week).  This unexplained phenomenon is our coping mechanism to deal with whatever the issue at hand is as well as preserving the lives of the other gender pool in our family; inconsiderate road bullies, rude cashiers, late night Illegal Street Racing fanatics and pretty much all the other annoyances we face daily.  Now you may wonder how we could act out such a strange, yet award winning performance when confronted with fear for instance.  Well, that’s easy really; you see F. E.A.R can have two meanings.  Forget Everything And Run, or, Face Everything And Rise.  The choice is yours. 

   Growing up, mom would drill into us mantras of strength, independence and more importantly, loyalty and integrity.  As a result we have a steady line of Delicious Monsters in our family, sometimes confused with Snap Dragons or Monkey Puzzle Tree’s (Araucaria). 

  Being the impatient petals we are, waiting for an opportunity to present itself is a no-no, if opportunity doesn’t knock, we simply build a door.  We don’t give up because of what someone said, we simply use that as motivation to push harder while still believing in working for a cause, not applause and living life to express, not impress.  After all, what is the value of hope without fear?

  ‘Tune in’ next week as we discover a whole new dimension to the tiny, one-barrel, four letter word that we attach self-proclaimed prestigious and far-reaching emotions to: FEAR.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Monkey bar Mayhem

Quotes to help you Accept Endings & Embrace New Beginnings

Have you ever feel like every area of your life is changing so fast and you're just standing in the middle of it all, confused and directionless?Maybe that’s how you feel at this very moment in your life.  First off, rest assured, you are not alone.

Yup, I've been there, but through applying the quotes and tips below, I've been able to feel less anxiety and more peace about the uncertainty that comes along with those inevitable life changes.

Earl Purdy said, “Rejection is protection and redirection.” I find it a comfort knowing that there’s always more than one way of looking at any situation. When we're rejected, we have a tendency to go straight for a fearful idea, such as, “I’m not good enough.” But we can just as easily choose the opposite. We can choose to see the rejection as a positive thing. Perhaps the person doing the rejection is not good enough and by his/her rejection you are being protected from a life of unwanted outcomes. Something important to remember is that, “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don't have to like it, but it's just easier if you do.”  This is a major perceptual shift from playing the victim card to owning your personal power. When we start to use our power instead of giving it away, we’re capable of miracles. Miracles are shifts in perception from fear to love.C. S. Lewis stated that, “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”  Whenever I know (deep in my heart) that some forgiveness work needs to take place, I start with willingness. Willingness to forgive someone or some situation is all it takes to create healing. Start with a simple mantra every morning and night such as, “I am willing to forgive.” You can even take it back a step and start with, “I am willing to be willing to forgive.”

 “It’s not about 'what can I accomplish?' but‘what do I want to accomplish?' Paradigm shift.” When everything seemingly falls apart, it’s more important than ever to get clear on the direction you want to go and as you move forward, focusing rather on how you want to feel and then starting to do the things that create those desired feelings and results. This is about you. What do you want to accomplish?

 “The object isn’t to make art; it’s to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable,” said Robert Henri.

Any time I’ve moved homes, started new jobs, ended relationships, joined new activities, or traveled those feelings of anxiety and doubt seemed to crop up. There’s nothing positive about hiding your feelings. Instead, it’s very important to feel your feelings in a constructive way. For me that’s writing about the experience and/or creating new works of (my self-proclaimed) art or choreographing a new dance.  The point is to feel your feelings and express yourself as you forgive, set new directions and move forward.  As Wayne Dyer so beautifully put it, “When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.”  Anytime I feel uncertain about life or want to try something new, my ‘go-to’ reaction is to immediately try and control of everything in an attempt to create some sense of order in my life. I want to see the whole path and know for certain that each decision is ‘right’ before I take action. With this mentality, I spent years thinking about doing things, but never actually taking the necessary steps to create the life I dreamed of. Instead, just try taking one step and trust that when you need it, the next step will be revealed. In truth, there's no certainty.  Heart throb Antonio Banderas said, “Expectation is the mother of all frustration.”  When we have tons of expectations for what SHOULD happen and how people SHOULD act, we set ourselves up for judgment and disappointment. Speaking of judgment, Kripalu said, “The highest spiritual practice is self-observation without judgment.” We tend to be our own worst critic. As you’re making life changes, it’s more important than ever to be gentle with yourself and not head into fear-land by thinking about all the things you should have and could have done. You’re exactly where you need to be, remember?And lastly “Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” We often let our actions be directed by the opinions of others.Seeking approval from others results in our, losing touch of our own likes, dislikes and desires. We all have our own internal guidance showing us the way through the confusion. Those buried passions and the strong desire to create something are coming from non-other than the inner YOU.  S Pressfield said, “The more afraid we are of a job or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”  Risk it, because, not doing it is often riskier. The “it” in this case might be quitting the job, speaking your mind, finally walking away from an unhealthy relationship, saying no, or proceeding with a new business plan. One thing I know for sure is that we learn about ourselves through new experiences. So whatever the ending and new beginning is for you right now, allow yourself to be swept away by the sweet freedom that comes with it. Growth is around the corner.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Resigning from the “Love Sucks Club”

So here we are again, another ‘big’ day which is highly anticipated by most and sorely dreaded by others.  Yes, you guessed it, Valentine’s Day. 

Just to set matters straight, I am a typical woman in my own right, who loves receiving flowers, chocolates or a specially thought out gift on Valentine’s Day, but more so on any other day of the year as well.  My argument, for many years now, is why do we pull out all the stops on V-day to ‘prove’ our love?  Wouldn't it be better to rather SHOW our love DAILY by being appreciative, respectful, considerate, loyal and caring?  These being but a few ways of demonstrating our affection (however, being woman we will never turn our nose up at the occasional bunch of flowers, chocolates or specially thought out gifts).

During the week I heard an interesting advert over the radio advertising an event to be held on Valentine’s Day, called the “Love Sucks Club”.  I gave a little chuckle, highly amused at the name for this particular V-day event.  Let’s face the facts here, there are a lot of single individuals, not to mention UN-appreciated attached individuals, and my guess would be that many of them fall into the category of dread as the countdown to ‘the day of love’ begins.  However, after entertaining this thought for a while, I snapped out of my, ‘yes love does suck – when you don’t have it’ trance (and not a moment too soon I might add), when I heard my  own words echoing from the dark and tucked away corners of my mind.  “Love cannot suck if you love yourself”.  I gulped down the bitter taste of shame and reminded myself of exactly which journey it is that I am on.  I know better than to indulge in contradictory thoughts.  You see, I know my worth, I know who I am and I embrace that.  I love me and more than that, I even like me.  Ok, sometimes not so much and I have to remind myself again that I am colourfully unique and I have self-worth, self-respect and dignity, but even that part of me, the part that can easily slide down doubt-mountain, I have also embraced because (thankfully) I am only human.

So, to all the single ladies and to all the UN-appreciated ladies, Happy Valentine’s Day!  Why don’t you go out and buy yourself something special as a token of your acknowledgment to your own self-love.  If you haven’t already, this could just be your big start to your very own journey of self discovery.  After all, if you don’t love and respect yourself, how is your partner (or future partner) supposed to?  If you don’t recognise your own self-worth, how can anyone else?

I will leave you to fathom out the answers to those questions by yourself, or you can just turn the tide, open your critical eyes and take a look at the amazing person that you really are. Start falling in love with you.  Now off you go to spoil yourself a bit on V-day, just a little token of appreciation - for YOU.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Zero Tolerance....

“Living in a material world and I am a material girl...  You know that we are living in a material world and I am a material girl”–Material Girl sang by Madonna in the 1980’s. This was once, a long time ago (yes, I have just given my age away... just keep thinking “good wine”!) one of my all time favourite songs.  Now almost forty light years later a penny dropped and instead of singing along at the top of my voice in my top of the charts shower voice, I see an entirely different message in these lyrics, along with a thread (think double weaved thick rope) of reality ringing true.

In a materialistic world of make believe and preconceived ideas, it is relativity rather almost definitely, a common fact that we lose track of reality from time to time.  We rely and almost depend on the superheros of our lives to swoop in and fix whatever it is that is broken with some or another wonder quick fix.  I too, have the tendency to function in this manner from time to time, in fact until very recently it was set script for my role in my own true life movie called ‘Life’. I, like many others I presume, was sold to the illusion of a make believe world, going through the motions daily,wearing rose tinted glasses, believing every fabrication I could muster of how I would like my world to be.  If something in my world broke, I would simply wait on whichever superhero was featuring as the lead role of my fantasia world at that time.  The more I enjoyed the wonderland I constructed for myself, the further I would fall down the rabbit hole.  In this whimsical wonderland of wishful thinking, I could adapt and change my role (always the role of leading lady, obviously) to suit whichever scene I would find myself in.  Always the damsel in distress, lapping up the attention of whoever was giving it at the time, I relished in the victim mentality that had become my comfort zone.  I was continuously romanticizing the reality of what it really is in... well, reality. Until one day someone pointed out to me, in a not-so-gentle manner that I tend to thrive on drama.

   Now see, I do tend to dramatize somewhat, I am a tad eccentric, and over-the-top, as some would say.  I think in pictures and dream in vivid colours and more often than not speak my mind before placing my harsh-word-extractor-filter in place, ensuring a to be continued scenario where I pack my pride away and admit that I may have stressed my point a little too strongly, inflicting some hurt.  Words can be venomous. I learnt this at a very young age when I was teased and bullied mercilessly during my years in primary school.  As a child I was always a little bit odd I guess and it is a known fact that when we don’t understand something (or someone), we tend to view it with critical eyes.  I never talk about my ordeal during those younger years as I am a grown woman now and know that saying (said to death),  “kids will be kids”.  It was only recently that I was reminded of how cruel bullying is and the deep emotional scars it leaves; scars that we carry with us into our adulthood and more often than not, leaves us a little bit (or maybe a lot) insecure. 

   Occasionally we may even find ourselves been  bullied again, but in a whole new different way with a brand new label for bullying, the word being, “abused”.  The difference now, however is that we (somewhere between the then and now) developed a functional brain along with the ability to stop the said abuse/bullying.  We have the power and even the ability to either prolong the agony of the deterioration of your own self image or to put a stop to the madness all together.  The reality is that people will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.  If you are tired of being treated like a doormat, then pick yourself up off the floor.  Only you can change your world.  Only you can be responsible for yourself. Nobody can respect you if you have no respect for yourself.  Nobody can love you if you don’t love yourself first.  Nobody can recognize your worth, if you can’t see it for yourself first. Nobody can make you happy if you can’t be happy with and by yourself.

If you want to see a change in your world, then you need to BE the change in your world.  First and foremost take responsibility for the well being of yourself; by doing that you can be a blessing to not only your world, but to the whole world as well. 

Remember to always attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect and mirror what you admire. 

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B