Enduring endings and embracing exciting beginnings

Bohemian B’s Beat

Enduring endings and embracing exciting beginnings

“Start at the beginning and when you get to the end… stop” – Alice in Wonderland.

Yup, I've been there, but through applying the tips below, I've been able to feel less anxiety and more at peace about the uncertainty that comes along with those inevitable life changes.

   A quote by Earl Purdy made me stop and think and inevitably, view the ominous word “Rejection” in a whole new light. He said, “Rejection is protection and redirection.”  I find comfort in knowing that there is always more than one way of looking at any situation.  When we are rejected, we have a tendency to go straight for a fearful idea, such as, “I’m not good enough.”  But we can just as easily choose the opposite.  We can choose to see the rejection as a positive thing.

  “Life is simple.  Everything happens for you and not to you.  Start adapting the belief that everything happens at exactly the right moment; it is neither too soon nor too late.  (Even if it doesn't feel like that right now!)  You don't have to like it... it’s just easier if you do” – Byron Katie.  This is a major perceptual shift from playing the victim card to owning your personal power.  When we start to use our power instead of giving it away, we start creating our own miracles in our own life.  Miracles are shifts in perception from fear to love.  “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.  You have to let go at some point in order to move forward”, says writer CS Lewis.  Whenever I know, deep in my heart, that I need to do some forgiveness work, I start with willingness.  Willingness to forgive someone or some situation is all it takes to create healing.  Brene Brown said, “It’s not about what CAN I accomplish?  But rather, what do I WANT to accomplish?  Paradigm shift.”  When everything seemingly falls apart, it’s more important than ever to get clear on the direction you want to go in as you move forward.  Focus on how you want to feel in every area of life and then start doing activities that create those desired feelings.  This is about YOU and what YOU want to accomplish.  Writer Robert Henri once wrote, “The object isn't to make art; it’s to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable.”  Any time I’ve moved homes, started a new job or faced the ending of a relationship, the inevitable feelings of anxiety and doubt always managed to pop up.  There’s nothing “spiritual” or “positive” about hiding your feelings.  Instead, it’s very important to feel your feelings in a constructive way.  Feel your feelings and express yourself as you forgive, set new directions and move forward. 

   My personal favourite quote and the one I often enjoy reflecting on is, “When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor.  It's to enjoy each step along the way”- Wayne Dyer.  Anytime I feel uncertain about life or want to try something new, my go-to reaction is to immediately try and control everything in an attempt to create some sense of order in my life.  I want to see the whole path and know for certain that each decision is the “right” one before I take action.  With this mentality, I spent years thinking about doing things, but never actually took the necessary steps to create the life I dreamed of.  Instead I continually tried taking one step and trust that when you need it, the next step will be revealed.  In truth, there's no certainty and this is why you need to believe in your own abilities to get where you should be by enjoying every step along the way.  As Steven Pressfield said, “The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”  Risk it, because in my opinion, not doing it is often riskier.  The “it” in this case might be quitting a job, speaking your mind, finally walking away from an unhealthy relationship, starting a food blog, saying no, or going all in on your new business plan.  One thing I know for sure is that we learn about ourselves through new experiences.  So whatever the ending and new beginning is for you right now, allow yourself to be swept away by the sweet freedom that comes with it.  Growth is around the corner.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Bohemian B's Tips for a happy life with compliments from Winnie the Pooh

Bohemian B

Tips for a happy life from Winnie the Pooh

”Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”  “Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best —” and then he had to stop and think. Because eating honey is a very good thing to do, there is a moment just before you begin to eat it which is better than when you actually are, but Pooh didn't know what this moment should be called. Winnie the Pooh is a kind bear. He cares greatly about his friends and he has always seemed like a pretty happy bear to me.Being a personal favourite of mine, I’d like to share some of this honey loving,happy bear’s wisdom on how to have a happy life. 

“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”It’s easy to get locked into a reactive mind set. You just follow along with whatever is happening. You do what the people around you do. You react to whatever is going on, and so you get lost in your circumstances.This way of thinking doesn't feel too good. You tend to feel powerless and like you are just drifting along in life.  Pooh suggests leaving your corner every now and then in search of your own honey discovery.

  “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, “What about lunch?” Long-winded negative babbling is enough to give anybody indigestion and quite frankly put, indigestion is an abomination and an unforgivable action.  What about the honey?

“Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear.” Although it feels good to work towards your dreams and doing the things you love, things tend to go better and feel better if there is a balance.Do nothing once in a while. Take some time each week to do pretty much nothing, just spending time with you, go for a walk in the woods or by the ocean for example.

   “Nobody can be un-cheered with a balloon.” Daily happiness is, to a large part, about appreciating the small things.If you only allow yourself to be happy when achieving something big, then you are making life harder than it needs to be.Instead, focus on appreciating things that you may take for granted.Take 2 minutes and find things in your life you can appreciate right now. If you want some ideas, here are a few of the simple things that Pooh recommends: Honey (obviously), lunch, the weather, balloons, friends, family and health.  Life is an adventure, every day is an adventure and by taking these simple and easy to implement tips from the honey lover himself, you may find you are able to smile a bit more.   Remember to get your daily dose of honey today!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B opportunity 

Finding Happy

Bohemian B’s Beat

Finding Happy

Have you ever heard the term, “Happy is a state of mind”, or “Happy is a choice?”  Well, I've known happy to be a dwarf; remember the story of Snow White and the seven dwarves? Today I am going to tell you a story, a fairy tale a-la Bohemian style, entitled, “Happy, Snow White’s dwarf”.  This is a story about somebody who lost her happiness and the reason why and what she had to do to find it again.

   Once upon a time there was a dwarf by the name of Happy who lived in the wonderful whimsical world of Ever-ever land.  Happy lived around the corner from his dear friend, Snow White.  Although Snow loved her friend Happy dearly, she never appreciated all the times he visited her. Happy on the other hand, enjoyed his times with Snow.  He enjoyed it so much that he tried in vain to extend these visits, with the hopes of eventually moving in and becoming Snow’s constant companion.  Now because Happy kept coming back, Snow became quite accustomed to his presence and started taking him for granted.  She expected Happy to be around whenever she needed him.  It didn't take very long for Happy to start feeling under appreciated.  The huge grin on Happy’s face that he was known and named for started to fade gradually.  Snow didn't recognize the value of Happy in her life and Happy decided to leave. 

   At first Snow didn't even realize that he was gone, carrying on with her everyday life and even making friends with other dwarfs from the hood.  Her new friends were named, Fakery, Irene-yPride (as in me, myself and Irene) and Doubtessy. In a matter of no time at all these new friends started causing all sorts of havoc in her life and finally on one cold and dreary day, Snow realized Happy was missing.  Happy would always bring certain warmth to Snow’s life, especially on cold days, but not on this day and she discovered that she was freezing.    

 So, Snow set off in search of her special dwarf friend Happy.  It was only now that she realized how much she needed the little guy in her life.  As small as he was, he contributed largely to the quality of Snow’s life.   The search proved to be relatively difficult as her new dwarf friends insisted on tagging along.  Irene-y Pride managed to convince herself and often the entire group that the search was largely possible because of her expertise.  Fakery continually made up false scenarios and pretended to genuinely care. Doubtessy,  dragging his feet as he tagged along way behind the search party, kept questioning why this mission was of such importance and often had them all wandering along the same path round and round in circles.  Snow eventually recognized the motive of these new ‘friends’ and realized that, in order to find Happy, she would have to ditch this bunch.  Taking a firm stand and with a thick cord of authority in her voice, she commanded the motley crew to leave her be.  They were all so shocked at her talking control that they had no other choice but to leave her.

  With the noise and distraction gone and with sheer determination, Snow found Happy.  He was tucked away under a thick and overgrown bush set deep in the forest.  Snow slowly approached her old and long lost friend with caution and filled with self-doubt, softly asked Happy if he could ever forgive her for neglecting him and invited him back into her life and even her home. 

   The wonderful thing about this little dwarf is that he had learnt the importance of forgiveness long ago.  He was so overjoyed to see Snow that he immediately put the past un-pleasantries behind them and embraced her with warmth, grinning from ear to ear. Having finally reconciled and hand in hand smiling broadly, Snow and Happy set of for home.  And although the motley crew- friends often came knocking on their door, Snow and Happy sent them packing, making sure that they would never allow anything or anyone to come between them ever again.  Snow and Happy lived together happily ever after.

   If you can identify with Snow White, maybe you need to take a look at what you need to get rid of, in order to find you’re ‘Happy.’

Be Happy!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B 

Bohemian B - A whole lot of meaningless

Bohemian B’s Beat

A whole lot of meaningless

Life as we know it is filled to the brim with a whole lot of uncertainties, unanswered questions and seemingly meaningless philosophies.  I attended a wedding recently where, as the night progressed, many relatively random topics made their way into some conversations.  As the wedding guests felt more relaxed and the evening turned into late night and the thirst levels had been quenched efficiently (and regularly), conversation topics became more and more diverse, philosophical, deep, random and some just ridiculous.  Knowing that sharing is caring and not wanting to keep these prize pieces of information to myself, left me inspired to share them with you.  Perhaps you have been wondering about some of these specific phenomenons yourself, leaving a deep dark and dreary void in your life.  Hopefully these answers will clarify some unanswered mysteries in your world.  After all, they were delivered by self-proclaimed ‘professionals’ and anyway, why should I have all the fun?  So here are a few questions and answers for you to mull over. 

   The first question, “Will restaurants actually allow you to wash dishes as compensation if you cannot pay? And has anyone actually tried it?”  The general opinion was no, they won't.  If you don't have the money to pay your bill, one of three things could happen: 1) The restaurant will ask you to leave something of value behind until you return to make payment.   2)  Depending on the mood of the owner, the amount of the bill and the reasons that you cannot pay your bill, they may simply say forget it and put the tab on the house bill, this however is highly unlikely.  3) (Most probable scenario) they’ll call the police.

  Second topic of discussion: “What are some of the most under-appreciated things in life?”  Relatively pain-free deaths, surviving your mistakes made, people listening to you, REALLY listening to what you have to say, finding problems BEFORE they become problems and remembering something good which you had forgotten.

   What was definitely the most interesting discussion turn debate during the course of the evening however was, “What did the animals and people eat in Noah's Ark?  After hearing a few Ludicrous answers such as, “Cheeseburgers and pancakes” and “each other” (taking small bites obviously) the winning conclusion was, “Lots of animals are herbivores so they would have eaten hay or straw.  A lot of fresh vegetables would be required to feed rabbits and guinea pigs and such.”   (Although some of this did produce more questions!)   Spiders trap other insects in their webs, but if there are only two each insects available, wouldn't they eventually eat all of them?  And what if all the spiders were eaten by birds or chameleons?  On a larger scale, consider the carnivores.  You would have to pack a whole lot of meat for them and might it not spoil before the end of the journey?  Perhaps the hyenas would eat the spoiled meat, but wouldn't the lions and tigers and bears then get hungry and hunt the gazelles and antelopes?  So, what it basically comes down to is the ark came to rest on Mount Ararat containing a much different cargo of animals than it started out with.  In my opinion however (for what it’s worth) and not that this information is in the Bible, but the logical answer would be fish.  Because they could find plenty around them if they had the logistic of fishing tons each day to feed the whole bunch of animals.  

   The shortest discussion and the one I found the most dynamic was one specific and short question asked, producing a prompt and profound answer, just as short as the question.  This is a Q&A that will stick in my mind for ever, I’m sure.  The question was, “When is freedom a bad thing?” and the answer, “When it does not apply equally to everyone.”   And on that ponder-worthy note, I bid you farewell today.

Glitter greetings (and  all things shiny)

Bohemian B 

Bohemian B's Unwritten Rules of Life

Bohemian B 

The Unwritten Rules of Life

Humans being the intelligent and higher life forms we constantly profess to be, you would think that common-sense would come naturally.  Unfortunately this comes as a huge challenge for some people, resulting in the presence of numerous jerks in the world.  Here is a little something put together, comprising of a few basic unwritten rules of life, a common-sense manual if you will; let’s call it common-sense 101 for dummies. 

Please feel free to use this manual as you feel fit and/or share it, in fact please share it with someone who lacks common-sense.  This could be your part in making the world a better place for all with fewer frustrations to contend with. 

Keep your annoying opinions to yourself.  If they aren't annoying, feel free to share them.  Unless you are a girl, don't decide what is offensive to girls.  Just don't decide what is offensive to people and what isn't.  Don't be rude.  Table manners count.  Don't make fun of someone for being “different”.  Don't be a jerk.  When being negative seems to be the only option, a little ice-cream or your favourite movie won't hurt.  Love yourself.  Have confidence.  Embrace your flaws, for example, if you absolutely hate having to wear glasses, try walking through crowds announcing, “Caution. Confident cute, nerd approaching!”  Find someone to trust your secrets with. You might be the most independent person you know, but something could happen.  Don't yawn really loudly, that's obnoxious.  Don't overestimate or underestimate yourself.  Maybe a little, that's fine, but if you start thinking that you can handle 77 jobs at the same time, you need to calm down to a mild panic rather.  If you think you're worthless, you aren't.  You're gorgeous. You're amazing. You're YOU.

   And then of course, there are the times when we doubt ourselves and feel as though we have failed miserably at life. Well, here are a few tell-tale signs that you are doing better than you think you are.  You paid the bills this month and maybe even had extra to spend on non-necessities.  It doesn’t matter how much you belaboured the cheques as they went out, the point is that they did, and you figured it out regardless.  You question yourself.  You doubt your life.  You feel miserable some days.  This means you’re still open to growth.  This means you can be objective and self-aware. The best people go home at the end of the day and think: “or… maybe there’s another way.”  You have a job.  For however many hours, at whatever rate, you are earning money that helps you eat something, sleep on something, and wear something every day.  It’s not failure if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would – you’re valuing your independence and taking responsibility for yourself.  You have time to do something you enjoy.  Even if “what you enjoy” is sitting on the couch and ordering dinner and watching a movie.  You can eat because you enjoy it.  It’s not a matter of sheer survival.  You have one or two truly close friends.  People worry about the quantity but eventually tend to realize the number of people you can claim to be in your tribe has no bearing on how much you feel intimacy, acceptance, community or joy.  At the end of the day, all we really want are a few close people who know us (and love us) no matter what.

   And last but not least and this is for the guys attempting their hand at pickup lines, here are a few of the worst ones and we girls would appreciate you NOT using anyone of these.  Ever.  Are you a beaver, cause dam…  Are you from Wimpy because I like you a latte?  Do you work at a hotdog cart because you sure know how to make a wiener stand?  Are those Space pants because your butt is outta this world.

  There you have it, a few unwritten rules of life.  Now please, share this information and help make the world a better place. 

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Making Magic

Bohemian declares Tutu Day

For those who know me, the enormous life challenges that I am about to share with you, my appreciated readers, will come as no surprise. In the world of this Bohemian B, Mornings plus Mondays equal mayhem and are only but two of the many challenges I am forced to face weekly. The list of challenges could go on indefinitely, but for today we will stop at Mornings and Mondays and see how these on-going challenges can be combated.  Being the problem-solver type of Bohemian that I am, I had to take a time-out and re-evaluate the seriousness of the two M-word issues; how they affect the quality of my life and then find a reasonable and more importantly, do-able method of fixing and preventing the mayhem left in their wake. 

    Firstly, let me start with Mondays.  After finding sanctuary in solitude this past weekend and after a very hectically busy week, the serenity of my much needed and desperately craved after quite me-time came as a welcome relief.  This, however,was soon ruined by the ever looming Monday, who was sadistically waiting for me just around the corner of serene Sunday.  There just had to be a better way to start a new week!  And there it was, right in front of my eyes and posted to my Facebook page, the answer I so desperately had been seeking: Tutu’s.  It is absolutely impossible to feel anything but elated and enthusiastic when clad in a tutu.  So I decided to declare every Monday, Bohemian Tutu Day.

 Having reached this exciting and completely fun decision on Sunday night brought me to the second dilemma in need of urgent attention, being Mornings.  Well, after the declaration of B’s Tutu Day had been all but set in stone, the morning problem sorted itself out!  Being Bohemian and being a woman is self-explanatory when it comes to wardrobe planning, hence solving the early-up-on-a-Monday-morning disaster.  I had an outfit to plan involving a Tutu! Much to do!  So as Monday morning assaulted me with the sound of doom, (my alarm) painfully ripping through my slumber and announcing the new day, I vaguely recalled something of importance from the night before and as I snuggled further down beneath my comforting duvet it hit me, Tutu Day!  I flung the duvet from my warm body and hardly noticed the severe cold trying to grab hold of my then, wide awake body. 

   After trying numerous variations of Tutu-agreeable fashion combinations, I had finally decided on the perfect outfit, the outfit worthy of kicking Monday morning’s butt!  A muffled meow grabbed my attention and I realized that I may have solved today’s problem of Monday morning, but had in the process created a Monday evening dilemma that my fury  companion pointed out to me.  Upon arriving at home I would have ‘operation-find-bed’ to tackle, as it had now been transformed into a mountain of once possible, yet failed attempts at the perfect Bohemian Tutu Day outfit.

   Now that the once, ‘Monday morning mayhem’, had been taken care of and my mind-set prepared for Monday evenings ‘operation-find-bed’, I felt immensely proud of myself, managing to be (relatively) on time for work, indicating a good week to follow.  Now, how to motivate Tuesday morning problem solving, I wonder…

Until next week, hopefully with more problem solving techniques set in place!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B