Delicious Monster

The fairer sex in our family are known for our comical  moments and rainbow coloured personalities.  We speak a love language that few understand, let alone converse in, I have therefore established that we are a rare and profoundly unique breed who are worthy of tolerance.     

   Our ‘in-your-face’ exuberance is normally only demonstrated in a select few instances, one being extreme euphoria (according to our own, self-determined level of happiness, sometimes bordering on hysteria), severe stressful circumstances and extreme heartache and/or FEAR.  (More on fear next week).  This unexplained phenomenon is our coping mechanism to deal with whatever the issue at hand is as well as preserving the lives of the other gender pool in our family; inconsiderate road bullies, rude cashiers, late night Illegal Street Racing fanatics and pretty much all the other annoyances we face daily.  Now you may wonder how we could act out such a strange, yet award winning performance when confronted with fear for instance.  Well, that’s easy really; you see F. E.A.R can have two meanings.  Forget Everything And Run, or, Face Everything And Rise.  The choice is yours. 

   Growing up, mom would drill into us mantras of strength, independence and more importantly, loyalty and integrity.  As a result we have a steady line of Delicious Monsters in our family, sometimes confused with Snap Dragons or Monkey Puzzle Tree’s (Araucaria). 

  Being the impatient petals we are, waiting for an opportunity to present itself is a no-no, if opportunity doesn’t knock, we simply build a door.  We don’t give up because of what someone said, we simply use that as motivation to push harder while still believing in working for a cause, not applause and living life to express, not impress.  After all, what is the value of hope without fear?

  ‘Tune in’ next week as we discover a whole new dimension to the tiny, one-barrel, four letter word that we attach self-proclaimed prestigious and far-reaching emotions to: FEAR.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Monkey bar Mayhem

Quotes to help you Accept Endings & Embrace New Beginnings

Have you ever feel like every area of your life is changing so fast and you're just standing in the middle of it all, confused and directionless?Maybe that’s how you feel at this very moment in your life.  First off, rest assured, you are not alone.

Yup, I've been there, but through applying the quotes and tips below, I've been able to feel less anxiety and more peace about the uncertainty that comes along with those inevitable life changes.

Earl Purdy said, “Rejection is protection and redirection.” I find it a comfort knowing that there’s always more than one way of looking at any situation. When we're rejected, we have a tendency to go straight for a fearful idea, such as, “I’m not good enough.” But we can just as easily choose the opposite. We can choose to see the rejection as a positive thing. Perhaps the person doing the rejection is not good enough and by his/her rejection you are being protected from a life of unwanted outcomes. Something important to remember is that, “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don't have to like it, but it's just easier if you do.”  This is a major perceptual shift from playing the victim card to owning your personal power. When we start to use our power instead of giving it away, we’re capable of miracles. Miracles are shifts in perception from fear to love.C. S. Lewis stated that, “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”  Whenever I know (deep in my heart) that some forgiveness work needs to take place, I start with willingness. Willingness to forgive someone or some situation is all it takes to create healing. Start with a simple mantra every morning and night such as, “I am willing to forgive.” You can even take it back a step and start with, “I am willing to be willing to forgive.”

 “It’s not about 'what can I accomplish?' but‘what do I want to accomplish?' Paradigm shift.” When everything seemingly falls apart, it’s more important than ever to get clear on the direction you want to go and as you move forward, focusing rather on how you want to feel and then starting to do the things that create those desired feelings and results. This is about you. What do you want to accomplish?

 “The object isn’t to make art; it’s to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable,” said Robert Henri.

Any time I’ve moved homes, started new jobs, ended relationships, joined new activities, or traveled those feelings of anxiety and doubt seemed to crop up. There’s nothing positive about hiding your feelings. Instead, it’s very important to feel your feelings in a constructive way. For me that’s writing about the experience and/or creating new works of (my self-proclaimed) art or choreographing a new dance.  The point is to feel your feelings and express yourself as you forgive, set new directions and move forward.  As Wayne Dyer so beautifully put it, “When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.”  Anytime I feel uncertain about life or want to try something new, my ‘go-to’ reaction is to immediately try and control of everything in an attempt to create some sense of order in my life. I want to see the whole path and know for certain that each decision is ‘right’ before I take action. With this mentality, I spent years thinking about doing things, but never actually taking the necessary steps to create the life I dreamed of. Instead, just try taking one step and trust that when you need it, the next step will be revealed. In truth, there's no certainty.  Heart throb Antonio Banderas said, “Expectation is the mother of all frustration.”  When we have tons of expectations for what SHOULD happen and how people SHOULD act, we set ourselves up for judgment and disappointment. Speaking of judgment, Kripalu said, “The highest spiritual practice is self-observation without judgment.” We tend to be our own worst critic. As you’re making life changes, it’s more important than ever to be gentle with yourself and not head into fear-land by thinking about all the things you should have and could have done. You’re exactly where you need to be, remember?And lastly “Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” We often let our actions be directed by the opinions of others.Seeking approval from others results in our, losing touch of our own likes, dislikes and desires. We all have our own internal guidance showing us the way through the confusion. Those buried passions and the strong desire to create something are coming from non-other than the inner YOU.  S Pressfield said, “The more afraid we are of a job or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”  Risk it, because, not doing it is often riskier. The “it” in this case might be quitting the job, speaking your mind, finally walking away from an unhealthy relationship, saying no, or proceeding with a new business plan. One thing I know for sure is that we learn about ourselves through new experiences. So whatever the ending and new beginning is for you right now, allow yourself to be swept away by the sweet freedom that comes with it. Growth is around the corner.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Resigning from the “Love Sucks Club”

So here we are again, another ‘big’ day which is highly anticipated by most and sorely dreaded by others.  Yes, you guessed it, Valentine’s Day. 

Just to set matters straight, I am a typical woman in my own right, who loves receiving flowers, chocolates or a specially thought out gift on Valentine’s Day, but more so on any other day of the year as well.  My argument, for many years now, is why do we pull out all the stops on V-day to ‘prove’ our love?  Wouldn't it be better to rather SHOW our love DAILY by being appreciative, respectful, considerate, loyal and caring?  These being but a few ways of demonstrating our affection (however, being woman we will never turn our nose up at the occasional bunch of flowers, chocolates or specially thought out gifts).

During the week I heard an interesting advert over the radio advertising an event to be held on Valentine’s Day, called the “Love Sucks Club”.  I gave a little chuckle, highly amused at the name for this particular V-day event.  Let’s face the facts here, there are a lot of single individuals, not to mention UN-appreciated attached individuals, and my guess would be that many of them fall into the category of dread as the countdown to ‘the day of love’ begins.  However, after entertaining this thought for a while, I snapped out of my, ‘yes love does suck – when you don’t have it’ trance (and not a moment too soon I might add), when I heard my  own words echoing from the dark and tucked away corners of my mind.  “Love cannot suck if you love yourself”.  I gulped down the bitter taste of shame and reminded myself of exactly which journey it is that I am on.  I know better than to indulge in contradictory thoughts.  You see, I know my worth, I know who I am and I embrace that.  I love me and more than that, I even like me.  Ok, sometimes not so much and I have to remind myself again that I am colourfully unique and I have self-worth, self-respect and dignity, but even that part of me, the part that can easily slide down doubt-mountain, I have also embraced because (thankfully) I am only human.

So, to all the single ladies and to all the UN-appreciated ladies, Happy Valentine’s Day!  Why don’t you go out and buy yourself something special as a token of your acknowledgment to your own self-love.  If you haven’t already, this could just be your big start to your very own journey of self discovery.  After all, if you don’t love and respect yourself, how is your partner (or future partner) supposed to?  If you don’t recognise your own self-worth, how can anyone else?

I will leave you to fathom out the answers to those questions by yourself, or you can just turn the tide, open your critical eyes and take a look at the amazing person that you really are. Start falling in love with you.  Now off you go to spoil yourself a bit on V-day, just a little token of appreciation - for YOU.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Zero Tolerance....

“Living in a material world and I am a material girl...  You know that we are living in a material world and I am a material girl”–Material Girl sang by Madonna in the 1980’s. This was once, a long time ago (yes, I have just given my age away... just keep thinking “good wine”!) one of my all time favourite songs.  Now almost forty light years later a penny dropped and instead of singing along at the top of my voice in my top of the charts shower voice, I see an entirely different message in these lyrics, along with a thread (think double weaved thick rope) of reality ringing true.

In a materialistic world of make believe and preconceived ideas, it is relativity rather almost definitely, a common fact that we lose track of reality from time to time.  We rely and almost depend on the superheros of our lives to swoop in and fix whatever it is that is broken with some or another wonder quick fix.  I too, have the tendency to function in this manner from time to time, in fact until very recently it was set script for my role in my own true life movie called ‘Life’. I, like many others I presume, was sold to the illusion of a make believe world, going through the motions daily,wearing rose tinted glasses, believing every fabrication I could muster of how I would like my world to be.  If something in my world broke, I would simply wait on whichever superhero was featuring as the lead role of my fantasia world at that time.  The more I enjoyed the wonderland I constructed for myself, the further I would fall down the rabbit hole.  In this whimsical wonderland of wishful thinking, I could adapt and change my role (always the role of leading lady, obviously) to suit whichever scene I would find myself in.  Always the damsel in distress, lapping up the attention of whoever was giving it at the time, I relished in the victim mentality that had become my comfort zone.  I was continuously romanticizing the reality of what it really is in... well, reality. Until one day someone pointed out to me, in a not-so-gentle manner that I tend to thrive on drama.

   Now see, I do tend to dramatize somewhat, I am a tad eccentric, and over-the-top, as some would say.  I think in pictures and dream in vivid colours and more often than not speak my mind before placing my harsh-word-extractor-filter in place, ensuring a to be continued scenario where I pack my pride away and admit that I may have stressed my point a little too strongly, inflicting some hurt.  Words can be venomous. I learnt this at a very young age when I was teased and bullied mercilessly during my years in primary school.  As a child I was always a little bit odd I guess and it is a known fact that when we don’t understand something (or someone), we tend to view it with critical eyes.  I never talk about my ordeal during those younger years as I am a grown woman now and know that saying (said to death),  “kids will be kids”.  It was only recently that I was reminded of how cruel bullying is and the deep emotional scars it leaves; scars that we carry with us into our adulthood and more often than not, leaves us a little bit (or maybe a lot) insecure. 

   Occasionally we may even find ourselves been  bullied again, but in a whole new different way with a brand new label for bullying, the word being, “abused”.  The difference now, however is that we (somewhere between the then and now) developed a functional brain along with the ability to stop the said abuse/bullying.  We have the power and even the ability to either prolong the agony of the deterioration of your own self image or to put a stop to the madness all together.  The reality is that people will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.  If you are tired of being treated like a doormat, then pick yourself up off the floor.  Only you can change your world.  Only you can be responsible for yourself. Nobody can respect you if you have no respect for yourself.  Nobody can love you if you don’t love yourself first.  Nobody can recognize your worth, if you can’t see it for yourself first. Nobody can make you happy if you can’t be happy with and by yourself.

If you want to see a change in your world, then you need to BE the change in your world.  First and foremost take responsibility for the well being of yourself; by doing that you can be a blessing to not only your world, but to the whole world as well. 

Remember to always attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect and mirror what you admire. 

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Thank you for not killing us...

This week’s article is, as always for each and every one of my readers enjoyment, but is ultimately dedicated to my fellow comrades in media and their partners and family. 

Just something of interest for you to chew on this week, to most it is not relevant at all, however still interesting to know.  This week’s blog is just a little in depth look at life as, and life with, a journalist.  It could shed some light on a few unanswered questions you may (or may not) be pondering, or it could cause a bunch of new mysteries.  Either way, I found it interesting and informative, not to mention light hearted and fun.  Peeked your interest have I, well read on and satisfy some of your curiosity then.So, you're never dated, got married or befriended a journalist?  You really don't know what you're missing! Read on to find out just how much ‘fun’ you are missing out on. 

As it turns out, I’ve been told often in the past, life with a journalist is not an easy one (I still have my suspicions that this is some wicked conspiracy against jurno’s… but I try to remain open minded).  I argued this statement to the top degree until I recently discovered an article on the very topic I was disputing.  The article entitled “8 Ways youknowyou’redating a Journalist”, by IleneSpringer, was a bit of an eye opener for me as I was forced to see things from another perspective. Ilene started her article off by saying, “We know we're not easy to live with.  And if we're your boyfriend or girlfriend, you deserve the Pulitzer Prize for Dating a Journalist.”

Here are a few of the tell-tale signs.  First off, our memory banks are stretched to the point of 3^rd degree stretch marks and are programmed to live up to the reputation of ‘memory like an elephant’. We may forget your birthday or our anniversary, but never a deadline.  Sorry, it’s nothing personal, it’s just business.We may start performing strange rituals so don't be surprised when your journalist date starts eating weird things, playing strange music, or petting your cat (whether the cat is there or not).This is a sign that your journalist-love has sent out a query or request for information and the provider of said facts is taking more time than your partner is willing to or able to wait. It will pass.  Just hope that the response is the desired one and not rejection or useless information.  If it is, please remember to have your local suicide prevention number on hand for that occasional article rejection, misinformation or dead end leads occurrences. Alternatively, chocolate.  This works just as well.  You'll know a deadline is approaching as you witness your journalist exhibiting PMS-type symptoms of rage, irritability and despair.(This occurs in both men and women)

Euphoria. You will become very familiar with this mood.  It’s when a ‘plan comes together’ and an article is accepted and published. (This is the best time to suggest eating out because your boy/girlfriend will be most likely to pick up the tab.) From time to time (ok, more often than not) your journalist will come across as a perfect ‘special needs’ candidate as sometimes you'll see us in a strange location or position, like we are looking for something.  We are.  We’re writing something and looking for the right...word. With some luck, you might be subjected to ‘the silent treatment’, yes you are being ignored as your journalist has had an epiphany and has just managed to grab hold of the edges to an idea for the making of a great story and is petrified to let go as it could vanish into the abyss.  Please hold (and enjoy the calm before the storm), we’ll be with you in a moment.

I certainly hope that shed some light on the mysteries surrounding the world of media junkies and writers by causing a cosmic reaction to your face known as a smile.  We love and appreciate your tolerance of us as we plough through our busy schedules always on the prowl for the perfect scoop. We value your support more than we show.  And last but not least (by no means) thank you for not killing us, particularly on deadline days.  For that true act of kindness and love, we are tremendously grateful. 

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Abstract shapes

Living in this beautiful and culture enriched country, boasting majestic wonders in nature, wildlife and vast bio-diversity, we have much to appreciate and enjoy.  In every area, nook and cranny of South Africa, one is presented (or confronted – depending on how you perceive things) with diversity.  Boasting a sum of eleven official languages, I can comprehend and almost appreciate a misconception or misunderstanding amongst different circles and cultures.  Very often, due to our lack of understanding and even more often, our lack of trying to understand, actions, deeds and words are misconceived, sometimes even resulting in unsavoury responses and outcomes.  The sad part is that more often than not, the intentions behind the actions, deeds or words are pure, innocent, and helpful even.  Instead of putting in some effort to see what the actual intension/message is, we take the ‘lazy-man’s’ route and either brush it off as irrelevant or immediately get our guard up and prepare for a confrontation of sorts, ready to defend our own perception.  As if this doesn’t hit close enough to home as it is, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but the same is true in relationships.  “I see your lips moving but am not understanding a word you are saying” sound familiar at all?  He sends you flowers when what you really want is time.  She gives you a hug when what you really want is a home-cooked meal and you reach the conclusion that your relationship is just not working.  The problem has (more than likely) nothing to do with your love for each other or the relationship at hand but rather the colour or shape language you speak.    I see it like this, we are all unique and differ in many ways (thankfully so! Imagine how utterly boring and painfully mundane the world would be if we were all the same!)  We have many similarities, yes, but ultimately we all differ in some way.  Few may see the world the way I do or grasp my reasoning, understanding and/or method of self-expression as I do and that’s alright by me ( I know the world can only handle so much  techni-coloured, multi-personality, me-ness’s).  So then it would only make sense (well to me anyway) that I could be talking circles and you could be talking squares, thereby causing an astronomically huge breakdown in our communication skills.  This however needed be as problematic as what its seems, should we only but apply a level of dedication to TRY (at least) understanding the intention/ meaning  or message behind the odd shaped words that don’t necessarily align with our shape of words.  Henry David Thoreau portrayed a similar message perfectly accurately by saying, “Treat your friends (partner) for what you know them to be.  Regard no surfaces, consider not what they did, but what they intended”

Communication is a vital part of any relationship be it friendship, partnership, marriage, or business relations and if we would just conjure up a small amount of compassion, caring, understanding and love for one another, then we could combat the great dilemma of miss-communication and broken relationships.

   So if you starting to feel that he is from mars after all, maybe learn to listen with Martian ears.  If she is talking circles, perhaps invest in a ‘self-help “circle” dictionary.’  In other words, try adding a touch of patience and understanding opposed to deaf ears and see the true meaning and intention behind the abstract words being spoken.   Remember what Henry David Thoreau said, and I (repeatedly) quote, “Treat your friends (partner) for what you know them to be.  Regard no surfaces, consider not what they did, but what they intended”

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Stranger than Fiction......

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” ~ Cheshire Cat from Wonderland.

So here we are again, at the beginning of another year.  Another chance to build that dream, build that career build that relationship.  Another chance to follow through on the endlessly long list of New Year’s resolutions, some of which we have (on the second week of 2015) already broken or purposefully ‘forgotten’.  After the long awaited and well deserved, glorious December holiday, the start of a new year (particularly this one) reminds me of the late 1980’s, early 1990’s song by Soul II Soul, “Back to life, back to reality”.  It also reminds me that I have another chance to choose.  To choose gratitude opposed to attitude. Kind opposed to cruel. Self-love opposed to self-destruct.

It was just this morning (Monday), as I was getting dressed for my first day of work for 2015, preparing to embark on this new day, new week, new month, New Year when I realized (shockingly) that we are actually, already starting a brand new year… again!!  The only way for me to process the reality of this truth without breaking into a cold sweat was to tell myself, continually that,  “It’s just the start of a new day, a new week, just a regular Monday, it is most definitely not a full year until my next holiday.  Just a new day.” And before I knew it, my first workday for 2015 was over and I had actually thoroughly enjoyed it.  Obviously I’d much rather have been lounging next to a refreshingly inviting swimming pool, but the seer exhilaration of accomplishment, purpose and success turned out to be just as revitalizing. Now as I sit and reflect on the day’s events and happenings, I (once again) realize that we each hold all the cards to a happy ending or a miserable demise, the choice always remains our own. My life equals my choice, my chance and ultimately, my responsibility.  As the wise Dr Seuss said, “You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself in any direction you chose”.

   And on that ‘eye opener’ of a life philosophy note, I feel it is only fitting to enter a new year as a wiser asset to society.  With that in mind, I compiled a ‘mini’-interesting facts crash-course of useless facts for ladies as to avoid a ‘loss for words’ situation or for those instances where you need something quirky or clever to comment.   High heels were first worn by men in the 1600’s.  Woman began wearing heels to look more masculine, which in turn, prompted men to stop wearing them in an effort to avoid looking feminine.  The word “wealthy” may have come from the term “well heeled” as shoes were a status symbol as early as the 1500’s. 

   Should anybody comment on your current weight, simply rely with, “I've sat up in bed 365 days per year for approximately 40 years.  That’s 14,600 sit-up and not a single ab muscle to show for it! Do you think I am doing something wrong?”  And lastly, never feel offended if someone should utter the words crazy, mad or insane when referring to your personality.  Simple reply with, “Crazy people don’t know they are crazy.  I know I am crazy, therefore I am not crazy.”  Now isn't that crazy? And should most certainly render the other party speechless!

   So there you go, equipped and ready to face the New Year no matter what path or direction you choose for yourself.  Always remember though, everywhere you go, leave a trail of kindness behind you.  You never know, someone who needs it may pick it up. 

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)