Why so serious?

Why so serious?  Have a happy meal 

Tired of being tired, sick of being sick and to busy being busy?  Let’s take a moment to reflect, shall we? Life can become so overwhelmingly stressful and utterly exhausting and if we allow it to, passes us by in the blink of an eye.  I don’t know about you, but I have a truckload of bucket lists that I never get time to even revise, let alone complete and finally tick off.  We don’t stop having fun because we grow older, we grow old because we stop having fun!! 

   So here’s an idea… just for today yell out, “Plot change!” and try some of the following tension-breaking, stress-relieving, random and seemingly meaningless things to do.  This can be your bucket list of things to do today.  Here are a few random acts on the ‘Today’s-to-do-list’ to try: • Go to the pet store.  Buy bird seed. Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow.  Wait for a reaction.  • Point at someone and shout, “you are one of them!” Run and pretend to trip.  Crawl away slowly.  • Look through a restaurant or shop/office glass window and when someone looks at you from the other side shout, “Oh my goodness, I’m hideous!” • Go to McDonalds and order a happy meal with an extra happy on the side.  • Put your desk in the elevator.  When people try to get on, ask them if they have an appointment.  • Arrive late at work and when your boss asks why you are late, say your pet rock had a seizure. • Jump onto somebody’s back and yell, “The sky is falling! Run man, RUN!” see what happens.  • Visit the library and ask for a book on how to read.  • Blow up a balloon, then ask somebody to pop it, when they do, start screaming.  • Shout “I won!  I won!” when drawing money from an ATM.  • Take a stuffed animal with you to a busy store and scream at it about how it ruined your life.  • Follow strangers around in a store and spray everything they touch with disinfectant.  • Call someone and tell them you can’t talk right now. • Call in sick – at a place where you don’t work.  • Run up to someone you know to avoid criminal charges and hit them over the head with a loaf of bread.

   By now you should be rid of stress and laughing so hard your tummy hurts. Fun feels good, doesn’t it? Well here’s a secret, happy looks good on you, and you should try it more often! That is all, as you were…

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Fundamentally fascinating

A touch of madness 

“You’re mad.  Bonkers.  Off your head – but I’ll tell you a secret – all the best people are” - Lewis Carroll – Alice in Wonderland.   This is one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite movies of all time.  It is true, being the mystery that I am, I do tend to have numerous favourites and you will often hear me exclaim (or more like shriek), “That’s my favourite part/thing/show/colour/song....”  I have many favourites of any topic you could possible fathom, does that make me eccentric? I certainly hope so!

   It was just the other morning that the word “dysfunctional” was used in the same sentence as my name.  I almost took offence, thankfully though, I didn’t.  Granted, it was never intended to be for the ears of yours truly and as one would normally jump to some or another lunatic assumption, expecting the worst, I chose the element of surprise rather.  Instead of taking immediate offence, I decided to explore this word, “dysfunctional” a little more, who knew, maybe I could regard the statement as complimentary instead of offensive.  After consulting with my good friends, the Oxford Dictionary and Google, I discovered the following treasures.

   The word dysfunctional is an adjective, (ok, we know that, but what else…?).  In the Oxford Dictionary we read that the definition of dysfunctional is, “Not operating normally”.  A wave of sheer relief washed over me as I drank in the authentic aura of the situation I found myself wrapped up in.  Just think about it, I came frightfully close to taking offence instead of rather seeing its intention as complimentary.  I came so close to hurting somebody’s feelings when I almost retaliated in anger and hurt, instead of gratitude and appreciation at this, obviously well intended, compliment. (For those who are not catching my drift – this is a slight touch on sarcasm some would call it – I prefer calling my tone, a touch of positivity, turning a nasty into a pretty)

   It is no secret that I can rarely be placed in a class accustomed to regular occurrences of normality and for that I am tremendously elated.  Besides making me chocolate and ice-cream hungry, these discoveries were breaking open new worlds in my mind as I was forced to explore more undisclosed avenues, this time taking a closer look at the word “normal”.  I chose to consult the same Oxford Dictionary as earlier and discovered the following: the definition of normal is also an adjective and its meaning is – “conforming to the standard, usual, typical or expected.”   Oh hell no, that is by no means this Bohemian!  On the contrary, rather expect the un-expected, un-usual and an altogether other level of attainment, opposed to anything standard or in any way reprehensive of predictable in any form from me. Now, I don’t know if you have noticed this, but that intricately defining word “dysfunctional”, is mostly tossed over to the fairer gender pool and often (not always though) by the other form of human species, namely men.   So gents, this message is specifically for you, Oscar Wilde said, “Woman are meant to be loved, not understood.”

  So if you find yourself realising that you have nothing in common with people who take themselves seriously (to the extreme) and should you find you are more often than not referred to as mad, crazy, weird or even dysfunctional, accept that there is nothing (or nothing serious, by ‘our’ standards anyway) wrong with you.  Engrave the following quote on your soul and do not be afraid to embrace your own unique weirdness, your quote for the day (being yours forever) is, “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness” – Aristotle.   I have often heard people say, “define normal”, well now you actually can, how utterly unexpected and completely contrary to the answer (if any) that they may have expected.

  Well, there you have it in a nutshell… now aren’t you proud to be a fun-filled little lollipop, triple dipped in Psycho? Now go sprinkle that sparkle everywhere and keep people entertained!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Simple Simon Says…

So you think you have problems?  Well, I have some good news for you today, albeit a bit of a bitter pill to swallow and not exactly always the easiest of solutions to apply, it’s still good news at the end of the day, depending on how you look at it of course.  There IS a solution to every problem (three solutions to be exact… continue reading) even the huge mountains that seem impossible to even imagine an attempt at climbing, let alone scaling it.  What makes the situation appear overbearing and greatly intimidating to the point of near hysteria, is the way some of us are programmed to look at things.  For instance a problem you may be facing could feel like a dire straits situation to you, a huge catastrophe, larger than life itself and a millimeter away from total damnation for sure, could in actual fact be the size of a mole hill opposed to the size of the towering Alps your mind has summed it up to be. 

Are you ready to hear what the three solutions to every problem are?  Well ready or not, here they come…

 (For those who thrive on drama and the sympathetic ear you will always find somewhere, stop reading this now! The answer could just change your life as you know it – for the brave, please continue) there are three solutions to every problem: Accept it.  Change it.  Leave it.  Now please don’t roll your eyes like that, I know you have heard this all before, but just hear me out before turning the page in disappointed disgust.  If you can’t accept it, change it.  If you can’t change it, leave it.  Often easier said than done, right? But have you ever wondered why?  Well, if you explore that avenue you may come up with a few reasons, granted you are honest with yourself.  I took some time and mulled this over in my mind and I must be honest, the brutal truth is not all that pretty, but necessary none the less considering you are desperate enough to change your life.  Here is what I found: Firstly, habit is a big culprit for our lack of taking action and responsibility for our own lives, our comfort zone if you will, albeit how bad it maybe, we tend to find a sick comfort there.  John C Maxwell said, “You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.  The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”  Secondly, lack of faith and hope in your own ability to regain your own voice, strength, independence or maybe even responsibility.  What it basically boils down to is believing in yourself.  If you can’t believe in yourself, how can anyone else believe in you? And lastly, attitude.  If you are a ‘glass-half-full’ kind of person, you may be in the market for an attitude replacement operation, which comes back to habit.  Changing you negative attitude to a positive attitude has to,  initially become a daily conscience choice.  Make positive thinking a habit, your habit, for instance, instead of adapting a woe-is-me attitude.Should you fall down the stairs, rather choose to say, “I fell down the stairs today and thought, WOW! I sure fell down those stairs fast!”

I have to end this off by also adding that, the way you choose to change your habit and re-adjust your focus as you weigh up the actual size of the problem before you and have an attitude mind shift, may not be in accordance with how someone else would do it.  There is no right or wrong way, as long as you cause no harm.  Remember that, for as long as you care about what others think, you will always be their prisoner. 

So Simple Simon says… go conquer your problems.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Awoken by Adversity

People say the only thing to fear is fear itself, but personally I think that is not altogether true for each individual.  I think it should rather be ‘the only thing to fear is yourself ’, because of the emotions we entertain.  Allow me to elaborate.  The way I see it is like this: fear can present itself in many forms and wear many different faces, each one presenting its own very real and terrifying oppression and it is ultimately how you react to this emotion that becomes the deciding factor of your survival, albeit emotional, mental or physical survival.  I can even go so far as to say that the way you either entertain or take control of the feeling of fear, could very well be the determining factor deciding your own fate in a life or death situation.  I have fears.  You have fears.  We ALL have fears.  We are all flawed and (disappointingly so) only human.  And that’s OK.  What’s not OK is to allow your flaws and your fears to prevent you from doing what you enjoy or becoming the person you were created to be.  I have always been one of those annoyingly, over-confident and bordering on fearless kind of people, believing that fear is but an emotion which we allow to damper our sense of self-security and stealing our joy in life.  That was until I came face to face with a terrifying side of fear I had never encountered before; becoming yet another victim of crime.  It was during that horrific ordeal that I came to a complete understanding of the words, ‘gripping fear’.

   We are all accustomed to some level of fear and one person’s fear is no greater or scarier than the next, as we all get to feel and experience the reality of the emotion for ourselves.  This feeling of fear can be paralyzing or eventually motivating as you learn to grow from the experience.  In essence, all fears are the same.  Your fear could be thoughts about the future or the view of looking down the cold, metal barrel of a gun.  What I have learnt is that it’s OKAY to be scared.  Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.  Fear cannot be escaped.  The only way to escape fear is to go through it, not around it.  What we need to come to terms with is that we are all a little weak.  What we do with our weaknesses is ultimately what makes us strong.  Who we share our weaknesses with is what gives us strength.  I’m sure you are wondering how I managed to reach this conclusion, allow me to explain.  I believe the presence of fear is a sure sign that you’re trusting in your own strength.  I believe that each and every person has an extraordinary power within to overcome difficult challenges.  When you encounter fearful situations, you can either decide to be a victim or an over-comer , a conqueror.   

  Live your life to its fullest.  Dare to be courageous and always choose to be the conqueror and hero of your own story.  Next time you feel fear stopping you, ask yourself, what is it that will make it worth it for you to keep moving forward?  What will give you the strength to get back up again and again and again?  What is on the other side of that fear waiting for you to push through and claim it?  Ask yourself – are my dreams bigger than my fears?  Give yourself permission to dream deeper and bigger.  Don’t accept excuses from yourself and don’t settle for less than your worth.  You are not a victim.  Remember that you are not responsible for who or what is attracted to you, but you are responsible for who or what you entertain and eventually give power to.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Delicious Monster

The fairer sex in our family are known for our comical  moments and rainbow coloured personalities.  We speak a love language that few understand, let alone converse in, I have therefore established that we are a rare and profoundly unique breed who are worthy of tolerance.     

   Our ‘in-your-face’ exuberance is normally only demonstrated in a select few instances, one being extreme euphoria (according to our own, self-determined level of happiness, sometimes bordering on hysteria), severe stressful circumstances and extreme heartache and/or FEAR.  (More on fear next week).  This unexplained phenomenon is our coping mechanism to deal with whatever the issue at hand is as well as preserving the lives of the other gender pool in our family; inconsiderate road bullies, rude cashiers, late night Illegal Street Racing fanatics and pretty much all the other annoyances we face daily.  Now you may wonder how we could act out such a strange, yet award winning performance when confronted with fear for instance.  Well, that’s easy really; you see F. E.A.R can have two meanings.  Forget Everything And Run, or, Face Everything And Rise.  The choice is yours. 

   Growing up, mom would drill into us mantras of strength, independence and more importantly, loyalty and integrity.  As a result we have a steady line of Delicious Monsters in our family, sometimes confused with Snap Dragons or Monkey Puzzle Tree’s (Araucaria). 

  Being the impatient petals we are, waiting for an opportunity to present itself is a no-no, if opportunity doesn’t knock, we simply build a door.  We don’t give up because of what someone said, we simply use that as motivation to push harder while still believing in working for a cause, not applause and living life to express, not impress.  After all, what is the value of hope without fear?

  ‘Tune in’ next week as we discover a whole new dimension to the tiny, one-barrel, four letter word that we attach self-proclaimed prestigious and far-reaching emotions to: FEAR.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Monkey bar Mayhem

Quotes to help you Accept Endings & Embrace New Beginnings

Have you ever feel like every area of your life is changing so fast and you're just standing in the middle of it all, confused and directionless?Maybe that’s how you feel at this very moment in your life.  First off, rest assured, you are not alone.

Yup, I've been there, but through applying the quotes and tips below, I've been able to feel less anxiety and more peace about the uncertainty that comes along with those inevitable life changes.

Earl Purdy said, “Rejection is protection and redirection.” I find it a comfort knowing that there’s always more than one way of looking at any situation. When we're rejected, we have a tendency to go straight for a fearful idea, such as, “I’m not good enough.” But we can just as easily choose the opposite. We can choose to see the rejection as a positive thing. Perhaps the person doing the rejection is not good enough and by his/her rejection you are being protected from a life of unwanted outcomes. Something important to remember is that, “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don't have to like it, but it's just easier if you do.”  This is a major perceptual shift from playing the victim card to owning your personal power. When we start to use our power instead of giving it away, we’re capable of miracles. Miracles are shifts in perception from fear to love.C. S. Lewis stated that, “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”  Whenever I know (deep in my heart) that some forgiveness work needs to take place, I start with willingness. Willingness to forgive someone or some situation is all it takes to create healing. Start with a simple mantra every morning and night such as, “I am willing to forgive.” You can even take it back a step and start with, “I am willing to be willing to forgive.”

 “It’s not about 'what can I accomplish?' but‘what do I want to accomplish?' Paradigm shift.” When everything seemingly falls apart, it’s more important than ever to get clear on the direction you want to go and as you move forward, focusing rather on how you want to feel and then starting to do the things that create those desired feelings and results. This is about you. What do you want to accomplish?

 “The object isn’t to make art; it’s to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable,” said Robert Henri.

Any time I’ve moved homes, started new jobs, ended relationships, joined new activities, or traveled those feelings of anxiety and doubt seemed to crop up. There’s nothing positive about hiding your feelings. Instead, it’s very important to feel your feelings in a constructive way. For me that’s writing about the experience and/or creating new works of (my self-proclaimed) art or choreographing a new dance.  The point is to feel your feelings and express yourself as you forgive, set new directions and move forward.  As Wayne Dyer so beautifully put it, “When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.”  Anytime I feel uncertain about life or want to try something new, my ‘go-to’ reaction is to immediately try and control of everything in an attempt to create some sense of order in my life. I want to see the whole path and know for certain that each decision is ‘right’ before I take action. With this mentality, I spent years thinking about doing things, but never actually taking the necessary steps to create the life I dreamed of. Instead, just try taking one step and trust that when you need it, the next step will be revealed. In truth, there's no certainty.  Heart throb Antonio Banderas said, “Expectation is the mother of all frustration.”  When we have tons of expectations for what SHOULD happen and how people SHOULD act, we set ourselves up for judgment and disappointment. Speaking of judgment, Kripalu said, “The highest spiritual practice is self-observation without judgment.” We tend to be our own worst critic. As you’re making life changes, it’s more important than ever to be gentle with yourself and not head into fear-land by thinking about all the things you should have and could have done. You’re exactly where you need to be, remember?And lastly “Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” We often let our actions be directed by the opinions of others.Seeking approval from others results in our, losing touch of our own likes, dislikes and desires. We all have our own internal guidance showing us the way through the confusion. Those buried passions and the strong desire to create something are coming from non-other than the inner YOU.  S Pressfield said, “The more afraid we are of a job or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”  Risk it, because, not doing it is often riskier. The “it” in this case might be quitting the job, speaking your mind, finally walking away from an unhealthy relationship, saying no, or proceeding with a new business plan. One thing I know for sure is that we learn about ourselves through new experiences. So whatever the ending and new beginning is for you right now, allow yourself to be swept away by the sweet freedom that comes with it. Growth is around the corner.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Resigning from the “Love Sucks Club”

So here we are again, another ‘big’ day which is highly anticipated by most and sorely dreaded by others.  Yes, you guessed it, Valentine’s Day. 

Just to set matters straight, I am a typical woman in my own right, who loves receiving flowers, chocolates or a specially thought out gift on Valentine’s Day, but more so on any other day of the year as well.  My argument, for many years now, is why do we pull out all the stops on V-day to ‘prove’ our love?  Wouldn't it be better to rather SHOW our love DAILY by being appreciative, respectful, considerate, loyal and caring?  These being but a few ways of demonstrating our affection (however, being woman we will never turn our nose up at the occasional bunch of flowers, chocolates or specially thought out gifts).

During the week I heard an interesting advert over the radio advertising an event to be held on Valentine’s Day, called the “Love Sucks Club”.  I gave a little chuckle, highly amused at the name for this particular V-day event.  Let’s face the facts here, there are a lot of single individuals, not to mention UN-appreciated attached individuals, and my guess would be that many of them fall into the category of dread as the countdown to ‘the day of love’ begins.  However, after entertaining this thought for a while, I snapped out of my, ‘yes love does suck – when you don’t have it’ trance (and not a moment too soon I might add), when I heard my  own words echoing from the dark and tucked away corners of my mind.  “Love cannot suck if you love yourself”.  I gulped down the bitter taste of shame and reminded myself of exactly which journey it is that I am on.  I know better than to indulge in contradictory thoughts.  You see, I know my worth, I know who I am and I embrace that.  I love me and more than that, I even like me.  Ok, sometimes not so much and I have to remind myself again that I am colourfully unique and I have self-worth, self-respect and dignity, but even that part of me, the part that can easily slide down doubt-mountain, I have also embraced because (thankfully) I am only human.

So, to all the single ladies and to all the UN-appreciated ladies, Happy Valentine’s Day!  Why don’t you go out and buy yourself something special as a token of your acknowledgment to your own self-love.  If you haven’t already, this could just be your big start to your very own journey of self discovery.  After all, if you don’t love and respect yourself, how is your partner (or future partner) supposed to?  If you don’t recognise your own self-worth, how can anyone else?

I will leave you to fathom out the answers to those questions by yourself, or you can just turn the tide, open your critical eyes and take a look at the amazing person that you really are. Start falling in love with you.  Now off you go to spoil yourself a bit on V-day, just a little token of appreciation - for YOU.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B