I believe I can Fly…….no really…

So here I am, fighting the war zone of a battle field in my mind, wondering how on earth I got here…… again.  Have you ever been in one of the happiest places you’ve ever been, feeling as if you are ‘king of the mountain’ and finally, after waiting for what seemed like your entire life for this moment, it starts to fade, leaving you struggling with the question, “ how did this just happen?”  Well I did.

Now, if you have ever wondered what the master of misery looks like, who the professional “wallow in self-pity party planner is, (with all the bells and whistles!) ………well, that would be me. So there I was slipping down the narrow spiral slope of “woe is me-syndrome”. No shinny fairy lights to light my way, no red carpet welcoming, no choir rejoicing with me in my misery, not even a hint of glitter, or anything shiny for that matter. Slipping further and further, feeling darker and drearier when it hit me……hard…….

I wasn’t about to lose the “me” I had just discovered, nor was I been plucked from the journey of my un-becoming…….this WAS my metamorphosis period.  This WAS my transition phase. This WAS my un-becoming.  

Alright, I can just picture the confused expression on your face as you try and decipher what on earth I’m trying to tell you as you read this. Let me explain……

Before the butterfly becomes the butterfly it has to struggle to free itself from the cocoon which has kept it snuggle safe and warm in preparation for what is still to come.  Once it is time for the butterfly to…well …flutterby, this colourful creation has to STRUGGLE it-self free from the cocoon.  This struggling process strengthens the butterfly’s wings.  And as she expels herself from her ‘safe haven’ of a cocoons…….she can soar ( and I say soar, instead of flutter as this butterfly is way too big to merely ‘flutter’) on STRONG wings, capable of carrying her wherever her little heart desires. Allowing her the freedom to BE the colourful creation she was meant to be and to continue along her magnificent rainbow coloured journey through life.

I got it……( thankfully….) What I was experiencing and defined as a struggle, was but mare preparation to strengthen my wings for all the wonders yet to come……..( a definite “AHA” moment with a deserved and satisfying sigh of relief…..)

 I am, in actual fact, not losing a thing, not being plucked from my’rose garden’, and most definitely not losing ME………I am only but becoming more of ME ………look out world, there is more to come!!

Till next time

Glitter greetings and all things shiny

Bohemian B