Turn your frown upside down.

Historian BH Liddell Hart wrote: “A life spent in sowing a few grains of fruitful thought, is a life spent more effectively than in hasty action that produces a crop of weeds.”

We humans, being the mere mortals that we are, cannot help but to… well… be human.  And being human we feel, we laugh, cry, fall, eat, sleep, and experience emotions such as joy, love, fear and anger.  Too often though, we forget that we are human and react as animals, normally when the emotion of anger or fear takes hold.  Now this is going to sound crazy, but even our animalistic antics are normal.  Did you know…being human makes you magnificently marvellous and we have the ability to change our minds! Amazing phenomena, I know.  So perhaps now when we experience these intense and dramatic emotions, you could turn them around to be beneficial opposed to detrimental.  So, if you must succumb to feelings and even actions of ambush, terror, persecution, manhandling, assult, besiege, bashing, exploding horror or outrage, try turning them into a possitive aposed to the negative it’s supposed to sygnify.   Ambush the couch.  Terrorize the cupcake.  Persecute the remote.  Manhandle the paperback.  Attack the keyboard. Assault the outdoors. Besiege your friends.  Explode with dancing.  Be outrageously positive.  And horrifically content.  Storm the streets.  Stare rudely at art.  Bash out the dukebox.  It is true that we are what we repeatedly do. It all begins in your mind what you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it. 

   You will be amazed at the magic that occurs once you have mastered the art of turning your frown up-side down.  Here are a few things that you can be certain of happening.  Firstly you become a much prettier person, both inside and out.  Secondly, instead of causing King-Kong kind of terror for those around you, you rather portray a Mary Poppins persona, portraying happy motivational thoughts and encouraging inspiration.  Lastly (only last for me to mention, not last on the ongoing list however) your magic will carry healing properties.  The following story perfectly describes the magical healing properties tucked away in motivational encouragement.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.  The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.  The men talked for hours on end.  They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.  Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.  The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.  One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.  Although the other man could not see the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days, weeks and months passed.One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.  She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.  The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.  The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.  She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

   Remember that inspiration flows where you’re thoughts go.  A quoted text in a Novel ‘Her Will’, by, Floranova BMsc describes this perfectly.  It reads, “In the midst of her torment, she felt a sense of hope and trying to understand the gravity of the situation, she thought, the circumstances do not own me.  I am in the moment and I am capable to decide, either to leave or to stay.”

Sometimes you need to talk to a three year old just so you can understand life again, to simplify all the above messages I have tried to elaborately colour-in for you.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Embrace the suck

Insecurities, self confidence and self image are what haunt many women today.   Too thin, too fat, too tall, too short, too pretty, and not pretty enough and the list of self critisism goes on endlessly.   According to this bohemian, this syndrom should be labled as emotional, self mutilation.

There are a considerable amount of contributing factors that could result in many woman (sadly too many) becoming emotional self-mutilation suffers.  The most common contributor would be society, advocating the picture perfect  image of what todays ( seemingly )  ‘perfect woman’  represent, how she should look, what she should wear, what the acceptable and preferd weight should be, her make-up, vocabluary, career choice, all the way down to what she should eat, how often she should eat, how many children she should have, even what toothbrush she should use to assist her in fulfillinbg this perfect role portrayed by  todays ‘societies standards.  

Another is the mirror......in its reflection; we see only our version of the truth.  Cringing at each and every yukky bit (each ones own perceptiopn of yukky, obviously).   After observing the monster in the mirror, we proceed to manipulate the vision before us, performing the suggested camoflage regime making us ucceptable to society.  In truth we are not seeing our own reflection, what we are looking at through our own criticle eyes are our very own feelings of inadequacy. 

   How marvelous wouldn’t it be if we could face truth and embrace who we are rather than constantly compare ourselves to society’s model image of who we, as woman are supposed to be?  Wouldnt it be wonderful if would stop believing that our differences make us superior or inferior to one another?   Can you imagine how incredibly harmonious the world would be if we (woman spesifically) accepted, embraced and even loved ourselves just they way God made us to be.  We wouldnt spend hours antagonising over our ‘flaws’ but rather understand that each and every thing us difines who we are.  We would save astronamicle amounts of money if we would get the stupid idea of competing with others, trying to be prettier, blonder, thinner, richer, .....

If we could just learn to BE and BE happy about BEING our entire world would change considerably.

The reflection in the mirror would tell a different story.....a story of truths, of self confidence and radiant beauty from within.  We would see who we really are and learn to love ourselves  in our own perfection, the contour of your face, the shape of your body, the tone of your skin, the colour of your eyes..........this would all count as the perfect wrapping for the beautiful woman inside.  Your self confidence, your belief in yourself and your security in the acceptance of who you are makes any ‘exterior wrapping’ beautiful.   Even if youb dont believe in some things, alwasy believe in you. 

   In my opinion, it is not up to the mirror to affirm my appearance or society to pre-describe who I should be.  It is entirely up to me to choose between declaring war or embracing the suck I’ve decided is there, staring back at me.  It is up to me to choose between self confidence and insecurity.   Insecurity will end up  leading me along the path of an ever hate for mirror’s and following the ‘guidance’ of society,  where as by choosing  self confidence, I create my own path by believing in the power and beauty which comes from within myself.  It is therefore that I decided to embrac e the suck, the yukky’s i see in the mirror.  In doing so I have discovered a treasure in the words of a friend who reminded me that what I see as Yukky, somebody else sees as yummy! 

I recieved a beautiful message earlier on this week that I have to share with you in the hopes that it will help you see the beauty in your very own suck.  The message read, “You devour the smell of a rose, you are in awe for the stars, and yet you ignore the grace of your own being?  How is it that you see yourself?   What is it that you tell yourself?  You call yourself stupid?  You call yourself dumb?  You call yourself fat?  You call skinny?

Would you call the rose stupid?  Would you call the stars dumb?  Aren't you made of the same molecules?

If for one moment you could grasp your own divinity,if for one moment you could get in touch with your infinity, if for one moment you could feel the miracle of your own being, if you would understand the grace of your own being , you would look upon yourself as a miracle  and you would be stunned by your own beauty.”  

   Tomorrow as you look in the mirror while applying your war paint for the day, take a moment to look at yourself, and i mean look, not scrutinise. Instead of cringing and critisizing, be bold and surprise yourself by embrasing your suck. Take a moment of inssanity and tell the mirror, “thank you, but your opinion is no longer necessary.”    Take a moment and be in awe for yourself.  Feel the grace of your own being.

 WOW look at you now! Beautifully yummy and wearing your self named yukky with confidence.  Lady, you are beautiful!!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B           

Raw deal.......

Give me give me give me!....pick me! Pick me!... Im’m steak!.... The human race is seemingly regressing at a phanominal speed do to our evolving.  All consumed with theme, me and me regime, ever demanding and fueled by my right?  What rights? To me they are slowly becoming more and more seemingly wrong.  Selfish and lazy and completely self absorbed are we.  We are so busy fighting for our rights that we forget our own value and nine out of ten times sell ourselves short. 

    A lazy generation is what we have become.  We want it all, the glitz, the glam and the glory, but just hand it to me on a silver platter please, so I don’t have to strain myself at all.  And as I am handed all the comfort and luxuary I could ever imagine, I will cobtinue to sit here on my pedasil and expand where I shouldnt and complain about the little I don’t have.  What saddens me most from this scenario is (in my opinion) the obliviation we find we fit so comfortably into.  You may see yourself as the top of the food chain, but I am affraid to say you are not.....you are playing the perfect roll of victim and laying down in your very own puddle of seeped out self worth.

   Tension breaker questionair: 1) did you see the mother and her young child braving the icy cold this morning as you drove past in your hot airconditioned vehicle?  Did you see the youngster was crying his little heart out? Did you see the sad and hopeless expression on the mother’s tired and drawn face?  Did you notice that they wore the same colour skin as you?  Orwere you, like most of the rest of us self righteous humans in the world, so self absorbed in our own troubles (and yes, we all have them) that you never even caught a glimps of them?   

    Feeling offended yet?  Good.  If not, just hold on I’ll get to you in a bit.  The order of business goes as follows (in my opinion of course) If you didnt work for it, It’s not yours.  If you didnt run the race, you shouldnt be wearing those trainers.  If you didnt plant it, you shouldnt pick it.  Have we such a low self image and lack recognising our own value to such an extent that you deem it acceptable to take something you did not work for and lable it you own.  I can take this a little further.  If you are too upity to get your hands dirty (so to speak) then Im pretty certain you are too upity to offer your opinion as well.  If you have masterd only the art of taking, critisizing and judging then I am sad to say, you have lost your worth.......everything we do from the moment we wake up until the moment we drift off to lala land again, we are busy making public display of our self worth, our value.  Instead of always wanting and continually taking, how about every once in a while start giving.  A lift to school/work, a loaf of bread, a warm smile or maybe just five minutes of your precious time to show a loney, lost or even just sad soul that they are not alone in the world. 

   Motivational writer, Bryant McGill wrote a brilliant piece on self-worth, “Value is your way out of the trap!” explaining the value of your raw material.  ‘The value of your worth’.  He says, “You better have some skills in this world. You better bring something to the dinner party or you will be the dinner.  You will either have value, or be grist for the mill — nothing more. I know it seems so unfair. I didn't make the rules.  The truth is that the world doesn't have much use or respect for “does nothing” people.  Can you really blame them? Take some pride in yourself.  Get to work.  Read everything you can get your hands on.   Acquire several skills and find at least one that you can master, and that earns you respect.  Let your skills do the talking.  Get determined.  This world is bursting with opportunity. Maybe it's time you re-invent you and try again.  Get going.  Don't cheat the world or yourself of what you have to offer. You must cultivate value within yourself if you want to move forward.  If you feel trapped quit thinking about the trap and start thinking about your value.  Life favours value.  Value is your way out.  The quality of your life hinges on your attitudes and offerings. Become a gift in the lives of others and you will always be well received.  If you want more opportunities you have to become an opportunity for others.  As you advance yourself your opportunities advance too.  It's so simple.  Get to work on yourself. The harder you work on yourself the more the external things you couldn't or can’t change will change on their own. Cultivating your value proposition in life is the way to move forward.   You are the raw material of your own destiny.”

                     

Go out and embrace your rawness.  Be the person who makes a difference in somebody’s life.  Show the world your value.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Enduring endings and embracing exciting beginnings

Bohemian B’s Beat

Enduring endings and embracing exciting beginnings

“Start at the beginning and when you get to the end… stop” – Alice in Wonderland.

Yup, I've been there, but through applying the tips below, I've been able to feel less anxiety and more at peace about the uncertainty that comes along with those inevitable life changes.

   A quote by Earl Purdy made me stop and think and inevitably, view the ominous word “Rejection” in a whole new light. He said, “Rejection is protection and redirection.”  I find comfort in knowing that there is always more than one way of looking at any situation.  When we are rejected, we have a tendency to go straight for a fearful idea, such as, “I’m not good enough.”  But we can just as easily choose the opposite.  We can choose to see the rejection as a positive thing.

  “Life is simple.  Everything happens for you and not to you.  Start adapting the belief that everything happens at exactly the right moment; it is neither too soon nor too late.  (Even if it doesn't feel like that right now!)  You don't have to like it... it’s just easier if you do” – Byron Katie.  This is a major perceptual shift from playing the victim card to owning your personal power.  When we start to use our power instead of giving it away, we start creating our own miracles in our own life.  Miracles are shifts in perception from fear to love.  “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.  You have to let go at some point in order to move forward”, says writer CS Lewis.  Whenever I know, deep in my heart, that I need to do some forgiveness work, I start with willingness.  Willingness to forgive someone or some situation is all it takes to create healing.  Brene Brown said, “It’s not about what CAN I accomplish?  But rather, what do I WANT to accomplish?  Paradigm shift.”  When everything seemingly falls apart, it’s more important than ever to get clear on the direction you want to go in as you move forward.  Focus on how you want to feel in every area of life and then start doing activities that create those desired feelings.  This is about YOU and what YOU want to accomplish.  Writer Robert Henri once wrote, “The object isn't to make art; it’s to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable.”  Any time I’ve moved homes, started a new job or faced the ending of a relationship, the inevitable feelings of anxiety and doubt always managed to pop up.  There’s nothing “spiritual” or “positive” about hiding your feelings.  Instead, it’s very important to feel your feelings in a constructive way.  Feel your feelings and express yourself as you forgive, set new directions and move forward. 

   My personal favourite quote and the one I often enjoy reflecting on is, “When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor.  It's to enjoy each step along the way”- Wayne Dyer.  Anytime I feel uncertain about life or want to try something new, my go-to reaction is to immediately try and control everything in an attempt to create some sense of order in my life.  I want to see the whole path and know for certain that each decision is the “right” one before I take action.  With this mentality, I spent years thinking about doing things, but never actually took the necessary steps to create the life I dreamed of.  Instead I continually tried taking one step and trust that when you need it, the next step will be revealed.  In truth, there's no certainty and this is why you need to believe in your own abilities to get where you should be by enjoying every step along the way.  As Steven Pressfield said, “The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”  Risk it, because in my opinion, not doing it is often riskier.  The “it” in this case might be quitting a job, speaking your mind, finally walking away from an unhealthy relationship, starting a food blog, saying no, or going all in on your new business plan.  One thing I know for sure is that we learn about ourselves through new experiences.  So whatever the ending and new beginning is for you right now, allow yourself to be swept away by the sweet freedom that comes with it.  Growth is around the corner.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Bohemian B's Tips for a happy life with compliments from Winnie the Pooh

Bohemian B

Tips for a happy life from Winnie the Pooh

”Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”  “Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best —” and then he had to stop and think. Because eating honey is a very good thing to do, there is a moment just before you begin to eat it which is better than when you actually are, but Pooh didn't know what this moment should be called. Winnie the Pooh is a kind bear. He cares greatly about his friends and he has always seemed like a pretty happy bear to me.Being a personal favourite of mine, I’d like to share some of this honey loving,happy bear’s wisdom on how to have a happy life. 

“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”It’s easy to get locked into a reactive mind set. You just follow along with whatever is happening. You do what the people around you do. You react to whatever is going on, and so you get lost in your circumstances.This way of thinking doesn't feel too good. You tend to feel powerless and like you are just drifting along in life.  Pooh suggests leaving your corner every now and then in search of your own honey discovery.

  “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, “What about lunch?” Long-winded negative babbling is enough to give anybody indigestion and quite frankly put, indigestion is an abomination and an unforgivable action.  What about the honey?

“Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear.” Although it feels good to work towards your dreams and doing the things you love, things tend to go better and feel better if there is a balance.Do nothing once in a while. Take some time each week to do pretty much nothing, just spending time with you, go for a walk in the woods or by the ocean for example.

   “Nobody can be un-cheered with a balloon.” Daily happiness is, to a large part, about appreciating the small things.If you only allow yourself to be happy when achieving something big, then you are making life harder than it needs to be.Instead, focus on appreciating things that you may take for granted.Take 2 minutes and find things in your life you can appreciate right now. If you want some ideas, here are a few of the simple things that Pooh recommends: Honey (obviously), lunch, the weather, balloons, friends, family and health.  Life is an adventure, every day is an adventure and by taking these simple and easy to implement tips from the honey lover himself, you may find you are able to smile a bit more.   Remember to get your daily dose of honey today!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B opportunity 

Finding Happy

Bohemian B’s Beat

Finding Happy

Have you ever heard the term, “Happy is a state of mind”, or “Happy is a choice?”  Well, I've known happy to be a dwarf; remember the story of Snow White and the seven dwarves? Today I am going to tell you a story, a fairy tale a-la Bohemian style, entitled, “Happy, Snow White’s dwarf”.  This is a story about somebody who lost her happiness and the reason why and what she had to do to find it again.

   Once upon a time there was a dwarf by the name of Happy who lived in the wonderful whimsical world of Ever-ever land.  Happy lived around the corner from his dear friend, Snow White.  Although Snow loved her friend Happy dearly, she never appreciated all the times he visited her. Happy on the other hand, enjoyed his times with Snow.  He enjoyed it so much that he tried in vain to extend these visits, with the hopes of eventually moving in and becoming Snow’s constant companion.  Now because Happy kept coming back, Snow became quite accustomed to his presence and started taking him for granted.  She expected Happy to be around whenever she needed him.  It didn't take very long for Happy to start feeling under appreciated.  The huge grin on Happy’s face that he was known and named for started to fade gradually.  Snow didn't recognize the value of Happy in her life and Happy decided to leave. 

   At first Snow didn't even realize that he was gone, carrying on with her everyday life and even making friends with other dwarfs from the hood.  Her new friends were named, Fakery, Irene-yPride (as in me, myself and Irene) and Doubtessy. In a matter of no time at all these new friends started causing all sorts of havoc in her life and finally on one cold and dreary day, Snow realized Happy was missing.  Happy would always bring certain warmth to Snow’s life, especially on cold days, but not on this day and she discovered that she was freezing.    

 So, Snow set off in search of her special dwarf friend Happy.  It was only now that she realized how much she needed the little guy in her life.  As small as he was, he contributed largely to the quality of Snow’s life.   The search proved to be relatively difficult as her new dwarf friends insisted on tagging along.  Irene-y Pride managed to convince herself and often the entire group that the search was largely possible because of her expertise.  Fakery continually made up false scenarios and pretended to genuinely care. Doubtessy,  dragging his feet as he tagged along way behind the search party, kept questioning why this mission was of such importance and often had them all wandering along the same path round and round in circles.  Snow eventually recognized the motive of these new ‘friends’ and realized that, in order to find Happy, she would have to ditch this bunch.  Taking a firm stand and with a thick cord of authority in her voice, she commanded the motley crew to leave her be.  They were all so shocked at her talking control that they had no other choice but to leave her.

  With the noise and distraction gone and with sheer determination, Snow found Happy.  He was tucked away under a thick and overgrown bush set deep in the forest.  Snow slowly approached her old and long lost friend with caution and filled with self-doubt, softly asked Happy if he could ever forgive her for neglecting him and invited him back into her life and even her home. 

   The wonderful thing about this little dwarf is that he had learnt the importance of forgiveness long ago.  He was so overjoyed to see Snow that he immediately put the past un-pleasantries behind them and embraced her with warmth, grinning from ear to ear. Having finally reconciled and hand in hand smiling broadly, Snow and Happy set of for home.  And although the motley crew- friends often came knocking on their door, Snow and Happy sent them packing, making sure that they would never allow anything or anyone to come between them ever again.  Snow and Happy lived together happily ever after.

   If you can identify with Snow White, maybe you need to take a look at what you need to get rid of, in order to find you’re ‘Happy.’

Be Happy!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B 

Bohemian B - A whole lot of meaningless

Bohemian B’s Beat

A whole lot of meaningless

Life as we know it is filled to the brim with a whole lot of uncertainties, unanswered questions and seemingly meaningless philosophies.  I attended a wedding recently where, as the night progressed, many relatively random topics made their way into some conversations.  As the wedding guests felt more relaxed and the evening turned into late night and the thirst levels had been quenched efficiently (and regularly), conversation topics became more and more diverse, philosophical, deep, random and some just ridiculous.  Knowing that sharing is caring and not wanting to keep these prize pieces of information to myself, left me inspired to share them with you.  Perhaps you have been wondering about some of these specific phenomenons yourself, leaving a deep dark and dreary void in your life.  Hopefully these answers will clarify some unanswered mysteries in your world.  After all, they were delivered by self-proclaimed ‘professionals’ and anyway, why should I have all the fun?  So here are a few questions and answers for you to mull over. 

   The first question, “Will restaurants actually allow you to wash dishes as compensation if you cannot pay? And has anyone actually tried it?”  The general opinion was no, they won't.  If you don't have the money to pay your bill, one of three things could happen: 1) The restaurant will ask you to leave something of value behind until you return to make payment.   2)  Depending on the mood of the owner, the amount of the bill and the reasons that you cannot pay your bill, they may simply say forget it and put the tab on the house bill, this however is highly unlikely.  3) (Most probable scenario) they’ll call the police.

  Second topic of discussion: “What are some of the most under-appreciated things in life?”  Relatively pain-free deaths, surviving your mistakes made, people listening to you, REALLY listening to what you have to say, finding problems BEFORE they become problems and remembering something good which you had forgotten.

   What was definitely the most interesting discussion turn debate during the course of the evening however was, “What did the animals and people eat in Noah's Ark?  After hearing a few Ludicrous answers such as, “Cheeseburgers and pancakes” and “each other” (taking small bites obviously) the winning conclusion was, “Lots of animals are herbivores so they would have eaten hay or straw.  A lot of fresh vegetables would be required to feed rabbits and guinea pigs and such.”   (Although some of this did produce more questions!)   Spiders trap other insects in their webs, but if there are only two each insects available, wouldn't they eventually eat all of them?  And what if all the spiders were eaten by birds or chameleons?  On a larger scale, consider the carnivores.  You would have to pack a whole lot of meat for them and might it not spoil before the end of the journey?  Perhaps the hyenas would eat the spoiled meat, but wouldn't the lions and tigers and bears then get hungry and hunt the gazelles and antelopes?  So, what it basically comes down to is the ark came to rest on Mount Ararat containing a much different cargo of animals than it started out with.  In my opinion however (for what it’s worth) and not that this information is in the Bible, but the logical answer would be fish.  Because they could find plenty around them if they had the logistic of fishing tons each day to feed the whole bunch of animals.  

   The shortest discussion and the one I found the most dynamic was one specific and short question asked, producing a prompt and profound answer, just as short as the question.  This is a Q&A that will stick in my mind for ever, I’m sure.  The question was, “When is freedom a bad thing?” and the answer, “When it does not apply equally to everyone.”   And on that ponder-worthy note, I bid you farewell today.

Glitter greetings (and  all things shiny)

Bohemian B 

Bohemian B's Unwritten Rules of Life

Bohemian B 

The Unwritten Rules of Life

Humans being the intelligent and higher life forms we constantly profess to be, you would think that common-sense would come naturally.  Unfortunately this comes as a huge challenge for some people, resulting in the presence of numerous jerks in the world.  Here is a little something put together, comprising of a few basic unwritten rules of life, a common-sense manual if you will; let’s call it common-sense 101 for dummies. 

Please feel free to use this manual as you feel fit and/or share it, in fact please share it with someone who lacks common-sense.  This could be your part in making the world a better place for all with fewer frustrations to contend with. 

Keep your annoying opinions to yourself.  If they aren't annoying, feel free to share them.  Unless you are a girl, don't decide what is offensive to girls.  Just don't decide what is offensive to people and what isn't.  Don't be rude.  Table manners count.  Don't make fun of someone for being “different”.  Don't be a jerk.  When being negative seems to be the only option, a little ice-cream or your favourite movie won't hurt.  Love yourself.  Have confidence.  Embrace your flaws, for example, if you absolutely hate having to wear glasses, try walking through crowds announcing, “Caution. Confident cute, nerd approaching!”  Find someone to trust your secrets with. You might be the most independent person you know, but something could happen.  Don't yawn really loudly, that's obnoxious.  Don't overestimate or underestimate yourself.  Maybe a little, that's fine, but if you start thinking that you can handle 77 jobs at the same time, you need to calm down to a mild panic rather.  If you think you're worthless, you aren't.  You're gorgeous. You're amazing. You're YOU.

   And then of course, there are the times when we doubt ourselves and feel as though we have failed miserably at life. Well, here are a few tell-tale signs that you are doing better than you think you are.  You paid the bills this month and maybe even had extra to spend on non-necessities.  It doesn’t matter how much you belaboured the cheques as they went out, the point is that they did, and you figured it out regardless.  You question yourself.  You doubt your life.  You feel miserable some days.  This means you’re still open to growth.  This means you can be objective and self-aware. The best people go home at the end of the day and think: “or… maybe there’s another way.”  You have a job.  For however many hours, at whatever rate, you are earning money that helps you eat something, sleep on something, and wear something every day.  It’s not failure if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would – you’re valuing your independence and taking responsibility for yourself.  You have time to do something you enjoy.  Even if “what you enjoy” is sitting on the couch and ordering dinner and watching a movie.  You can eat because you enjoy it.  It’s not a matter of sheer survival.  You have one or two truly close friends.  People worry about the quantity but eventually tend to realize the number of people you can claim to be in your tribe has no bearing on how much you feel intimacy, acceptance, community or joy.  At the end of the day, all we really want are a few close people who know us (and love us) no matter what.

   And last but not least and this is for the guys attempting their hand at pickup lines, here are a few of the worst ones and we girls would appreciate you NOT using anyone of these.  Ever.  Are you a beaver, cause dam…  Are you from Wimpy because I like you a latte?  Do you work at a hotdog cart because you sure know how to make a wiener stand?  Are those Space pants because your butt is outta this world.

  There you have it, a few unwritten rules of life.  Now please, share this information and help make the world a better place. 

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Making Magic

Bohemian declares Tutu Day

For those who know me, the enormous life challenges that I am about to share with you, my appreciated readers, will come as no surprise. In the world of this Bohemian B, Mornings plus Mondays equal mayhem and are only but two of the many challenges I am forced to face weekly. The list of challenges could go on indefinitely, but for today we will stop at Mornings and Mondays and see how these on-going challenges can be combated.  Being the problem-solver type of Bohemian that I am, I had to take a time-out and re-evaluate the seriousness of the two M-word issues; how they affect the quality of my life and then find a reasonable and more importantly, do-able method of fixing and preventing the mayhem left in their wake. 

    Firstly, let me start with Mondays.  After finding sanctuary in solitude this past weekend and after a very hectically busy week, the serenity of my much needed and desperately craved after quite me-time came as a welcome relief.  This, however,was soon ruined by the ever looming Monday, who was sadistically waiting for me just around the corner of serene Sunday.  There just had to be a better way to start a new week!  And there it was, right in front of my eyes and posted to my Facebook page, the answer I so desperately had been seeking: Tutu’s.  It is absolutely impossible to feel anything but elated and enthusiastic when clad in a tutu.  So I decided to declare every Monday, Bohemian Tutu Day.

 Having reached this exciting and completely fun decision on Sunday night brought me to the second dilemma in need of urgent attention, being Mornings.  Well, after the declaration of B’s Tutu Day had been all but set in stone, the morning problem sorted itself out!  Being Bohemian and being a woman is self-explanatory when it comes to wardrobe planning, hence solving the early-up-on-a-Monday-morning disaster.  I had an outfit to plan involving a Tutu! Much to do!  So as Monday morning assaulted me with the sound of doom, (my alarm) painfully ripping through my slumber and announcing the new day, I vaguely recalled something of importance from the night before and as I snuggled further down beneath my comforting duvet it hit me, Tutu Day!  I flung the duvet from my warm body and hardly noticed the severe cold trying to grab hold of my then, wide awake body. 

   After trying numerous variations of Tutu-agreeable fashion combinations, I had finally decided on the perfect outfit, the outfit worthy of kicking Monday morning’s butt!  A muffled meow grabbed my attention and I realized that I may have solved today’s problem of Monday morning, but had in the process created a Monday evening dilemma that my fury  companion pointed out to me.  Upon arriving at home I would have ‘operation-find-bed’ to tackle, as it had now been transformed into a mountain of once possible, yet failed attempts at the perfect Bohemian Tutu Day outfit.

   Now that the once, ‘Monday morning mayhem’, had been taken care of and my mind-set prepared for Monday evenings ‘operation-find-bed’, I felt immensely proud of myself, managing to be (relatively) on time for work, indicating a good week to follow.  Now, how to motivate Tuesday morning problem solving, I wonder…

Until next week, hopefully with more problem solving techniques set in place!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

An act of feminism

Whilst surfing recently, one of my favourite pastimes, I came across a vital piece of information, a Dictionary for Women.  I know we are not all alike and I am truly grateful for that (I honestly don’t know how I would cope having to deal with other Bohemians such as myself), but I saw the relevant importance of this dictionary and felt obligated to share it with my sisters of similar design.  This may (or may not...) be something you would like to share with your significant other to attempt initiating a spark of understanding, thereby encouraging a certain level of serenity in your home.

    Let’s start with the word ‘Argument’ pronounced - ahr•gyoo•munt.  This is a discussion that occurs when you're right, and continues until he realizes it.  ‘Airhead’, pronounced - ayr•hed.  This describes an act you put on when pulled over for speeding.  ‘Blonde jokes’, pronounced - blahnd joks.  Signifying jokes short enough for men to understand.  ‘Cantaloupe’, pronounced - kant•e•lope.  Meaning got to get married in a church.  ‘Clothes dryer’, pronounced - kloze drI•yer.  This is an appliance designed to eat socks.  ‘Diet soda’, pronounced - dI•it so•duh.  A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.  ‘Diamond’, pronounced - dI-mun.  Something you think should be on your finger but he can only see it in a pack of cards.  ‘Eternity’, pronounced - e•ter•ni•tee.  The last two minutes of a rugby game.  

   Being one of my personal favourites, the next word is ‘exercise’ and is pronounced - ex•er•size.  The act of walking up and down in a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.  ‘Grocery list’, pronounced - grow•sree list.  This is something you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.  ‘Hair dresser’, pronounced - hare dres•er.  A magician who creates a hairstyle you can never duplicate.  ‘Hardware store’, pronounced - hard•wer stor.  Similar to a black hole in space - once he goes in, he isn't coming out any time soon.  The next word is a grey area for me, ‘housework’, pronounced - haws•wrk.  This signifying work around the house including moping and washing dishes.  (Nope, I don’t get it).  ‘Childbirth’, pronounced - chIld•brth.   You go through 36 hours of contractions while he holds your hand and says, "Focus... breathe... push..."  (It’s a wonder he is still alive).

   ‘Lipstick’, pronounced - lip•stik.  On your lips, a colour to enhance your beauty of your mouth.  On his collar, a colour only a tramp would wear.  ‘Park’, pronounced – pahrk.  This word has two descriptions: 1) A vague memory of before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and neck” or 2) After children, a noun meaning “a place with a swing set and slide”.  Here is a vitally important word in the woman’s Dictionary, ‘Patience’, pronounced - pay•shuns.  The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.  Generally accompanies the word, ‘tranquilizers’.  Waterproof mascara, pronounced - wah•tr•pruf mas•ka•ruh.  Mascara that comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but not when you try to remove it (story of my life) and last but not least, ‘Valentine's Day’, pronounced - va•lun•tInz dae.  A day when you dream of a candle light dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

In loving memory of understanding

As I stood in the seemingly never ending queue at the bank recently with nothing but my mile-a-minute thoughts occupying me, I received a reply to a text message I’d sent, the reply being, “LOL, k.”  Being the over-thinker that I am often labelled  as, a parent of what once were teenagers and the daughter of an almost new-comer to the technology era, wise(er than one would imagine) mother, I got to thinking about text abbreviations.  I don’t know about you, but I often find myself dumb-founded by the, often impossible to decipher message. I remember when my mother started texting, using text abbreviations (sorry mom, but this is for a good cause), my cellphone account escalated with the back and forth texting as I tried to understand what mom was trying to say. It went something like this - Mom: “Having lag at Uncle Harry and Aunt Sue”.  Me: “Lag?”  Mom: “Lasagna”.  Me: “You can’t abbreviate lasagna, mom”.  Mom: “ok” (that was before she cottoned on the ever popular answer of the hour, “k”).

   I don’t have a problem with text abbreviations, on the contrary, I use them often.  What I do have a problem with is how the use (more like abuse) of the English language is deteriorating  and regressing dramatically as we become technologically wise and literature-lazy. Have you not found yourself typing up a work document and accidentally using a text abbreviation?  Not? ‘K’ must be just me then...

Then there is the slight problem of misinterpretation.  I am sure that most of the time what we think we are communicating by method of text abbreviations, bares a completely different meaning in reality.  For instance the abbreviation ‘Cya’ is supposedly a shortened form of “c ya,” which is a shortened form of “c you,” which is a shortened form of “see you,” which is a shortened form of“see you l8r,” which is a shortened form of “see you later.”  When in actuality, cya is the start of the phrase “c yaks ahead.” And what the person is most probably really saying is that they are looking at a herd of rogue yaks. (Yaks, being large and possessing a mob mentality, quite dangerous, and the person is usually trampled before getting out the rest of what they wanted to say!)   Here’s one we all use, ‘Thx’, you probably realize I’m about to tell you that this doesn't mean thanks. (It doesn't stand for Toddlers Hating Xerox machines, either)  Thx stands for THX, the sound company.  Referring to our cousins (and I use this all the time) ‘Cuz’. Of all the incorrect interpretations, this one is most understandable. There really isn't a shorter version of the word cousin aside from ‘cuz’, but in reality, CUZ is the abbreviation for Alejandro Velasco Astete International Airport, located in Cusco, Peru.Not forgetting the infamous and frequently used text abbreviation,‘LOL,’ which means - Laugh Out Loud - has, in reality, about fifty or more meanings. Here are a few examples: Lots of Love, Little Old Lady, League of Legends (a game, I've been told), Lots of Luck and many more.  Then there is the one lettered text we all know what it means. We have all come across it at one point. It is no more than one letter, but it speaks volumes. Yes, I am talking about the text message which presents you with just one letter: “K”.  I know that when I tell someone “Hey I’ll be there in five”, I can hardly survive unless whomever I am texting replies with a calming, reassuring “K”. (Sarcasm) But let’s stop viewing this message with such a concrete mindset. In my experience, “K” could possibly mean much more than we think.  Here is one scenario -upon receiving a fashionable response of, ‘K’ and using your phenomenal brainpower, you know the message is actually, “Kentucky Fried Chicken will be at my house!”  Said friend just left out the “entucky Fried Chicken etc…” blurb. You then begin sprinting towards the house, and with much urgency you break down his front door. Or “K” could actually meant to say “Kidding about this whole scenario.”  Perhaps this text message, ‘K’ was meant to warn against getting trampled by a herd of kangaroo, who knows... the possibilities are endless.

The next time you consider texting someone one of these abbreviations, or receive one yourself, realize that you are slowly wrecking the English language.  Be strong, refrain from becoming ‘one of them’, say no and turn away from the misuse of abbreviations.  Maybe you’ll consider taking those extra three calories to move your thumb to the additional letter buttons, and maybe not, LOL, either way, it’s K.  Until next time, cya!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Why so serious?

Why so serious?  Have a happy meal 

Tired of being tired, sick of being sick and to busy being busy?  Let’s take a moment to reflect, shall we? Life can become so overwhelmingly stressful and utterly exhausting and if we allow it to, passes us by in the blink of an eye.  I don’t know about you, but I have a truckload of bucket lists that I never get time to even revise, let alone complete and finally tick off.  We don’t stop having fun because we grow older, we grow old because we stop having fun!! 

   So here’s an idea… just for today yell out, “Plot change!” and try some of the following tension-breaking, stress-relieving, random and seemingly meaningless things to do.  This can be your bucket list of things to do today.  Here are a few random acts on the ‘Today’s-to-do-list’ to try: • Go to the pet store.  Buy bird seed. Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow.  Wait for a reaction.  • Point at someone and shout, “you are one of them!” Run and pretend to trip.  Crawl away slowly.  • Look through a restaurant or shop/office glass window and when someone looks at you from the other side shout, “Oh my goodness, I’m hideous!” • Go to McDonalds and order a happy meal with an extra happy on the side.  • Put your desk in the elevator.  When people try to get on, ask them if they have an appointment.  • Arrive late at work and when your boss asks why you are late, say your pet rock had a seizure. • Jump onto somebody’s back and yell, “The sky is falling! Run man, RUN!” see what happens.  • Visit the library and ask for a book on how to read.  • Blow up a balloon, then ask somebody to pop it, when they do, start screaming.  • Shout “I won!  I won!” when drawing money from an ATM.  • Take a stuffed animal with you to a busy store and scream at it about how it ruined your life.  • Follow strangers around in a store and spray everything they touch with disinfectant.  • Call someone and tell them you can’t talk right now. • Call in sick – at a place where you don’t work.  • Run up to someone you know to avoid criminal charges and hit them over the head with a loaf of bread.

   By now you should be rid of stress and laughing so hard your tummy hurts. Fun feels good, doesn’t it? Well here’s a secret, happy looks good on you, and you should try it more often! That is all, as you were…

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Fundamentally fascinating

A touch of madness 

“You’re mad.  Bonkers.  Off your head – but I’ll tell you a secret – all the best people are” - Lewis Carroll – Alice in Wonderland.   This is one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite movies of all time.  It is true, being the mystery that I am, I do tend to have numerous favourites and you will often hear me exclaim (or more like shriek), “That’s my favourite part/thing/show/colour/song....”  I have many favourites of any topic you could possible fathom, does that make me eccentric? I certainly hope so!

   It was just the other morning that the word “dysfunctional” was used in the same sentence as my name.  I almost took offence, thankfully though, I didn’t.  Granted, it was never intended to be for the ears of yours truly and as one would normally jump to some or another lunatic assumption, expecting the worst, I chose the element of surprise rather.  Instead of taking immediate offence, I decided to explore this word, “dysfunctional” a little more, who knew, maybe I could regard the statement as complimentary instead of offensive.  After consulting with my good friends, the Oxford Dictionary and Google, I discovered the following treasures.

   The word dysfunctional is an adjective, (ok, we know that, but what else…?).  In the Oxford Dictionary we read that the definition of dysfunctional is, “Not operating normally”.  A wave of sheer relief washed over me as I drank in the authentic aura of the situation I found myself wrapped up in.  Just think about it, I came frightfully close to taking offence instead of rather seeing its intention as complimentary.  I came so close to hurting somebody’s feelings when I almost retaliated in anger and hurt, instead of gratitude and appreciation at this, obviously well intended, compliment. (For those who are not catching my drift – this is a slight touch on sarcasm some would call it – I prefer calling my tone, a touch of positivity, turning a nasty into a pretty)

   It is no secret that I can rarely be placed in a class accustomed to regular occurrences of normality and for that I am tremendously elated.  Besides making me chocolate and ice-cream hungry, these discoveries were breaking open new worlds in my mind as I was forced to explore more undisclosed avenues, this time taking a closer look at the word “normal”.  I chose to consult the same Oxford Dictionary as earlier and discovered the following: the definition of normal is also an adjective and its meaning is – “conforming to the standard, usual, typical or expected.”   Oh hell no, that is by no means this Bohemian!  On the contrary, rather expect the un-expected, un-usual and an altogether other level of attainment, opposed to anything standard or in any way reprehensive of predictable in any form from me. Now, I don’t know if you have noticed this, but that intricately defining word “dysfunctional”, is mostly tossed over to the fairer gender pool and often (not always though) by the other form of human species, namely men.   So gents, this message is specifically for you, Oscar Wilde said, “Woman are meant to be loved, not understood.”

  So if you find yourself realising that you have nothing in common with people who take themselves seriously (to the extreme) and should you find you are more often than not referred to as mad, crazy, weird or even dysfunctional, accept that there is nothing (or nothing serious, by ‘our’ standards anyway) wrong with you.  Engrave the following quote on your soul and do not be afraid to embrace your own unique weirdness, your quote for the day (being yours forever) is, “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness” – Aristotle.   I have often heard people say, “define normal”, well now you actually can, how utterly unexpected and completely contrary to the answer (if any) that they may have expected.

  Well, there you have it in a nutshell… now aren’t you proud to be a fun-filled little lollipop, triple dipped in Psycho? Now go sprinkle that sparkle everywhere and keep people entertained!

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Simple Simon Says…

So you think you have problems?  Well, I have some good news for you today, albeit a bit of a bitter pill to swallow and not exactly always the easiest of solutions to apply, it’s still good news at the end of the day, depending on how you look at it of course.  There IS a solution to every problem (three solutions to be exact… continue reading) even the huge mountains that seem impossible to even imagine an attempt at climbing, let alone scaling it.  What makes the situation appear overbearing and greatly intimidating to the point of near hysteria, is the way some of us are programmed to look at things.  For instance a problem you may be facing could feel like a dire straits situation to you, a huge catastrophe, larger than life itself and a millimeter away from total damnation for sure, could in actual fact be the size of a mole hill opposed to the size of the towering Alps your mind has summed it up to be. 

Are you ready to hear what the three solutions to every problem are?  Well ready or not, here they come…

 (For those who thrive on drama and the sympathetic ear you will always find somewhere, stop reading this now! The answer could just change your life as you know it – for the brave, please continue) there are three solutions to every problem: Accept it.  Change it.  Leave it.  Now please don’t roll your eyes like that, I know you have heard this all before, but just hear me out before turning the page in disappointed disgust.  If you can’t accept it, change it.  If you can’t change it, leave it.  Often easier said than done, right? But have you ever wondered why?  Well, if you explore that avenue you may come up with a few reasons, granted you are honest with yourself.  I took some time and mulled this over in my mind and I must be honest, the brutal truth is not all that pretty, but necessary none the less considering you are desperate enough to change your life.  Here is what I found: Firstly, habit is a big culprit for our lack of taking action and responsibility for our own lives, our comfort zone if you will, albeit how bad it maybe, we tend to find a sick comfort there.  John C Maxwell said, “You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.  The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”  Secondly, lack of faith and hope in your own ability to regain your own voice, strength, independence or maybe even responsibility.  What it basically boils down to is believing in yourself.  If you can’t believe in yourself, how can anyone else believe in you? And lastly, attitude.  If you are a ‘glass-half-full’ kind of person, you may be in the market for an attitude replacement operation, which comes back to habit.  Changing you negative attitude to a positive attitude has to,  initially become a daily conscience choice.  Make positive thinking a habit, your habit, for instance, instead of adapting a woe-is-me attitude.Should you fall down the stairs, rather choose to say, “I fell down the stairs today and thought, WOW! I sure fell down those stairs fast!”

I have to end this off by also adding that, the way you choose to change your habit and re-adjust your focus as you weigh up the actual size of the problem before you and have an attitude mind shift, may not be in accordance with how someone else would do it.  There is no right or wrong way, as long as you cause no harm.  Remember that, for as long as you care about what others think, you will always be their prisoner. 

So Simple Simon says… go conquer your problems.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Awoken by Adversity

People say the only thing to fear is fear itself, but personally I think that is not altogether true for each individual.  I think it should rather be ‘the only thing to fear is yourself ’, because of the emotions we entertain.  Allow me to elaborate.  The way I see it is like this: fear can present itself in many forms and wear many different faces, each one presenting its own very real and terrifying oppression and it is ultimately how you react to this emotion that becomes the deciding factor of your survival, albeit emotional, mental or physical survival.  I can even go so far as to say that the way you either entertain or take control of the feeling of fear, could very well be the determining factor deciding your own fate in a life or death situation.  I have fears.  You have fears.  We ALL have fears.  We are all flawed and (disappointingly so) only human.  And that’s OK.  What’s not OK is to allow your flaws and your fears to prevent you from doing what you enjoy or becoming the person you were created to be.  I have always been one of those annoyingly, over-confident and bordering on fearless kind of people, believing that fear is but an emotion which we allow to damper our sense of self-security and stealing our joy in life.  That was until I came face to face with a terrifying side of fear I had never encountered before; becoming yet another victim of crime.  It was during that horrific ordeal that I came to a complete understanding of the words, ‘gripping fear’.

   We are all accustomed to some level of fear and one person’s fear is no greater or scarier than the next, as we all get to feel and experience the reality of the emotion for ourselves.  This feeling of fear can be paralyzing or eventually motivating as you learn to grow from the experience.  In essence, all fears are the same.  Your fear could be thoughts about the future or the view of looking down the cold, metal barrel of a gun.  What I have learnt is that it’s OKAY to be scared.  Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.  Fear cannot be escaped.  The only way to escape fear is to go through it, not around it.  What we need to come to terms with is that we are all a little weak.  What we do with our weaknesses is ultimately what makes us strong.  Who we share our weaknesses with is what gives us strength.  I’m sure you are wondering how I managed to reach this conclusion, allow me to explain.  I believe the presence of fear is a sure sign that you’re trusting in your own strength.  I believe that each and every person has an extraordinary power within to overcome difficult challenges.  When you encounter fearful situations, you can either decide to be a victim or an over-comer , a conqueror.   

  Live your life to its fullest.  Dare to be courageous and always choose to be the conqueror and hero of your own story.  Next time you feel fear stopping you, ask yourself, what is it that will make it worth it for you to keep moving forward?  What will give you the strength to get back up again and again and again?  What is on the other side of that fear waiting for you to push through and claim it?  Ask yourself – are my dreams bigger than my fears?  Give yourself permission to dream deeper and bigger.  Don’t accept excuses from yourself and don’t settle for less than your worth.  You are not a victim.  Remember that you are not responsible for who or what is attracted to you, but you are responsible for who or what you entertain and eventually give power to.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B

Delicious Monster

The fairer sex in our family are known for our comical  moments and rainbow coloured personalities.  We speak a love language that few understand, let alone converse in, I have therefore established that we are a rare and profoundly unique breed who are worthy of tolerance.     

   Our ‘in-your-face’ exuberance is normally only demonstrated in a select few instances, one being extreme euphoria (according to our own, self-determined level of happiness, sometimes bordering on hysteria), severe stressful circumstances and extreme heartache and/or FEAR.  (More on fear next week).  This unexplained phenomenon is our coping mechanism to deal with whatever the issue at hand is as well as preserving the lives of the other gender pool in our family; inconsiderate road bullies, rude cashiers, late night Illegal Street Racing fanatics and pretty much all the other annoyances we face daily.  Now you may wonder how we could act out such a strange, yet award winning performance when confronted with fear for instance.  Well, that’s easy really; you see F. E.A.R can have two meanings.  Forget Everything And Run, or, Face Everything And Rise.  The choice is yours. 

   Growing up, mom would drill into us mantras of strength, independence and more importantly, loyalty and integrity.  As a result we have a steady line of Delicious Monsters in our family, sometimes confused with Snap Dragons or Monkey Puzzle Tree’s (Araucaria). 

  Being the impatient petals we are, waiting for an opportunity to present itself is a no-no, if opportunity doesn’t knock, we simply build a door.  We don’t give up because of what someone said, we simply use that as motivation to push harder while still believing in working for a cause, not applause and living life to express, not impress.  After all, what is the value of hope without fear?

  ‘Tune in’ next week as we discover a whole new dimension to the tiny, one-barrel, four letter word that we attach self-proclaimed prestigious and far-reaching emotions to: FEAR.

Glitter greetings (and all things shiny)

Bohemian B